Page 86 of Demon Touched

“You’re going?” Rowan asks as I hover by the door.

“Yes,” I say. “I don’t really feel in the mood to talk any longer.”

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye to your grandfather?”

“No,” I say flatly. “You can tell him I’ve left though, if you want.”

Rowan’s brow furrows, like he can’t comprehend why I wouldn’t be eager to spend every possible minute with the general. It occurs to me that Rowan’s barely spoken to me all evening, too busy orbiting my grandfather. He wants to impress Garion, not me.

But there’s something warring on his face now. He looks back toward the party, then at me with a sympathetic expression.

“No, I’ll come with you,” he says, contradicting my ungenerous thoughts. “Just let me tell Roryn.”

“He’s like a bad smell, the way you can’t shake him off,” Syrus mutters after Rowan’s hurried off.

“You’re not in a position to accuse people of being clingy, Syrus,” I say. “You’re literally possessing me right now.”

“I seem to remember you wanting me to stay,” he counters, unperturbed. “Besides, if all goes to plan, we won’t be able to do this for much longer.”

He says it softly, but I can hear the pain in the words, and it forces a long breath out of me. I want to reply, but then Rowan’s coming back, and we’re heading out into the night sky, gliding back toward the academy.

Rowan sticks close to me, and I can feel his eyes on my face.

“I understand why you wanted to leave,” Rowan says. “It can’t be easy for you after what happened to Filippa. I’m sure it’s just as hard on the general, even if he has to push through to fulfill all his duties.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about Filippa,” I grind out, unable to hold back the response. “He basically told me so.”

Rowan doesn’t say anything to that, but at least he doesn’t argue the point.

“To be honest, I’m a little surprised you’re coping as well as you are,” he says. “You two seemed close. I think you were good for Filippa.”

I scoff. “Was I? I feel like I only made her life harder.”

Rowan shakes his head. “I knew her for a long time. She always felt like an outsider, but you showed her there was a way outsiders could still find a place for themselves, if they worked hard enough.”

I tilt my head, not liking his assessment. I was trying to fit in to survive, but Filippa shouldn’t have had to fight for her place in her own realm, in her own family. Now she’s gone, and the head of that family doesn’t care at all. Except…

I remember meeting Filippa’s mother. I remember how she flinched at Garion’s bullying of her daughter. She should have stood up to him on Filippa’s behalf, but that doesn’t mean she’s as heartless as Garion. And right now, she still thinks her daughter is dead.

“If I tell you something, do you promise to keep it a secret?” I ask Rowan.

Syrus pipes up. “Are you sure this is wise?”

I ignore him, watching Rowan’s face carefully.

He hesitates when I ask him the question, but because he’s the good little ephilium golden boy who genuinely buys into all this honor stuff, I believe him when he nods. “Yes, okay.”

“Filippa isn’t dead,” I say. “She was injured in the battle, but she’s healing in Strata, and she’s going to come back when she’s better.”

Rowan exhales, the lights of the city below occasionally illuminating his face. “Well, that explains why you haven’t been sadder, at least.”

“I tried to tell my grandfather, but honestly, he seemed almost glad Filippa was gone. Now I’m thinking about the rest of her family. I want her to be able to return to the trials, but…”

“You also don’t want them to suffer thinking she’s gone,” Rowan finishes. I nod, and he thinks for a moment. At least he’s not threatening to report me to Colonel Cavat.

“You should write her mother a letter,” he says decisively. “Explain the situation. She’ll keep your secret, and she won’t be grieving in Filippa’s absence. I can give you her address in Luminis.”

“You can?”