Page 41 of Awakened Light

It had been transcendent.

Over the centuries, I’d kissed my fair share of women, but what I’d felt this morning when her lips touched mine eradicated every woman who’d come before her. Nothing I’d experienced in my immortal life had come close to what I felt when we kissed. It awakened something inside me I didn’t even know had been asleep. She’d lit a light inside of me burning so bright it illuminated every dark crevice of my soul, erasing all the insecurities I had about my capabilities of loving a woman.

And now that it had woken, I knew I’d never get it to rest again.

My already powerful feelings for Catrain had amplified to unimaginable depths when I’d seen the desire reflected in her eyes. Felt her hands clawing at my back. Tasted the passion on her tongue. When she matched my lust with her own, it was like a dam broke open and transformed the sleepy lake behind it into a raging, powerful river.

A dam I’d never be able to repair.

Or want to.

I felt the sun go down, so I shot out of my room searching for Catrain, desperate to hear her say, “I’m staying” and terrified to hear her say, “I have to go” instead.

But one way or another, I needed to know. No matter what, my world would change tonight. I’d either have a chance at having an amazing woman at my side, or I’d be spending an eternity pining for the woman I could never have.

After a quick listen, I heard movement in Catrain’s room. I rushed up the stairs and stopped at her door, pausing to take a deep breath before I knocked.

“Come in,” she answered.

I pushed open the door with a warm grin, but my smile dropped when I saw her back in her tribal clothes.

“Oh,” I said quietly. “I guess this means you’re leaving.”

It felt like chewing on glass having the words you’re leaving pass through my mouth. Even though I’d entertained the idea she may go, deep down, I didn’t believe she would. Not after what I’d felt in her kiss this morning.

But the look in her eyes confirmed my worst fears without her having to utter a single syllable.

“I understand,” I said, even though I didn’t.

She stepped toward me, then stopped. “It’s not that I want to go back.”

I nodded but glanced away. It hurt too much to look at her.

“I wanted to help you find Annella... to see your world, but my place is on my island with my people. They need me.”

“I’ll take you back whenever you’re ready.” I turned out of the room.

“Thorne,” she said, and I stopped. “If it was up to me, I would stay. I just want you to know that.”

I paused in the doorway and gave a quick nod, but I couldn’t look back. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

Defeat shoved my shoulders down as I walked down the stairs. Aiden passed by on his way to the kitchen as I came down, and my oldest friend stopped and backed up when he saw me coming.

“You okay?” he asked as he furrowed his brow.

“Not in the slightest.”

The lines on his forehead deepened as I walked toward him.

“She’s leaving. Now,” I said on a sigh.

“Damn. I’m sorry to hear that.” He pressed a hand onto my shoulder and squeezed. “I thought for sure you’d charm her into staying.”

“You and me both, brother. You and me both.”

I wasn’t in the mood to talk, and Aiden could tell. He stepped aside while I made my way to the living room to wait for Catrain to come down.

The next ten minutes I sat slumped on the couch felt like an eternity. All I wanted was for her to stay, but now that I knew that she was leaving, I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. The longer I had to sit here and picture saying goodbye, the more the ache in my heart grew to unbearable pressure.