Page 72 of Into The Light

We lay still tangled together in the grass, our breaths intermingling while we inhaled and exhaled, and the weight of him pressing down on me soothed me and scared me. It wasn’t just the weight of his body I now felt on me... it was the weight of our life together, the weight of the decision I’d just made to give myself over to this man and all the challenges we would face. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for the weight of us, but I had no choice.

I was his, and he was mine.

“I love you, too,” I whispered my delayed response, pressing my lips to his ear.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly into his embrace. I felt safe again now that my fight was over. Relief had washed over me when I’d made my choice to cast my fears and doubts aside and throw myself into this, into him, and trust that we would find our way through the confusion together.

A brisk wind blew and cut across my naked body. I shivered and pressed closer to him for warmth, but his cool skin only chilled me more.

“Are you cold?” he asked, propping onto an elbow and running a hand through my hair.

“A little,” I admitted.

Before I could utter another word, he disappeared then reappeared in a second holding a thick wool blanket speckled with wood shavings and hay. He lifted me up and lay me back down on it, settling along my side and pulling me into his arms before closing the blanket in a warm cocoon around us. I closed my eyes and snuggled in deeper, savoring the feel of his skin all around my body. I didn’t know what lie ahead for us, but if it meant spending my life in his arms, I would face any challenges head on. There was nothing now but this... but him. He consumed me and I would relish every second of it.

“It’s all right, Emilia,” he whispered in my ear. “We will figure out all the details. All that matters is that I love you and I will do anything for you. Anything.”

“And I would do anything for you,” I responded.

“Turn then. Become a vampire with me and we will never be apart again,” he said, and the weight of his words stole away my breath. “Let me turn you.”

He tightened his embrace, and I was grateful my back was to him and he couldn’t see the bulging eyes that were my silent response.

Me? A vampire?

“You don’t have to decide tonight but think about it.” He kissed my cheek.

“I don’t need time,” I answered, my certainty startling me. “I can’t become a vampire, Aiden. Not even for you.”

“Oh.” I heard the hurt in his response.

I rolled over in his arms so I could see his face. Pain and disappointment were visible in the tense lines that formed around his eyes.

“It’s not that I don’t think it might be amazing to be immortal, and powerful, and all those things. Trust me, I’ve already thought about it a lot.” I touched his face and tried to soothe the sting from my refusal. “I love life, Aiden. I love food, and sunshine, and the freedom my humanity brings me. I don’t want to drink blood and live in the dark.”

“But you will die, and I will be left to walk the earth without you,” he whispered, and I saw a glassy glare shimmer in his eyes. “I don’t want to be here without you, Emilia.”

“I know.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “But I feel as Isobel felt. I want a human life. One single life filled with joy, pain, and eventually death. I want to savor every bite of my food and run down the beach and splash in the ocean. I don’t want to live in eternal darkness, consumed by a need for blood. I don’t want to turn into Leeya.”

“You could never be Leeya,” he answered.

“You don’t know that. What if I lost my humanity and with it everything that you love about me?”

“I will never not love you, Emilia. Not for a single second of my existence will I not love you.”

I felt the intensity of his stare consuming me again, begging me to give up my fight and submit to his desires. And the thought of spending an eternity at his side coaxed me with a crooked finger to abandon my own desires and loves and join him. But I couldn’t. Not this time.

“Aiden. I gave up everything for a man once. Literally, everything. My money. My education. My passions. My time. My pride. My life. I won’t do it again. I can’t. I need to be me, and I need to hold on to the things that make me me. I love food, Aiden. Like really love it... more than most people. And the sun and the beach. Those things are so important to me. I know you don’t understand but I can’t give up my humanity for you. What if you leave me? What if you turn me into a vampire and decide it was a bad idea and now I’m left to wander eternity without you? Then what?”

“I won’t leave you, Emilia! Ever!” The force of his words shook me, and I knew he meant it. But it still didn’t undo the certainty I felt in my decision.

“I can’t, Aiden. If you love me, you won’t ask me to do this. You won’t ask me to give up myself to fit with you. I can’t lose myself again... not even for you. All I want is to be with you, and the rest we will figure out. And yes, eventually I will get old and my tits will sag, and wrinkles will cover my body. I’ll be mortified to have you look at me when you still look like that.” I waved a hand over his perfect physique. “But it’s my choice and I need you to respect it. And I need you to love me for me and accept this. I’m going to grow old and die, and you will be left alone, and that kills me, but we will have a long and happy life together until then. It’s all I can give you.”

He inhaled a deep sigh and his gaze intensified while he searched my eyes. We lay there for a moment, the silence deafening while I waited for his response.

“I’ll become human again,” he said, his eyes locked tight with mine.

“What?” I choked out the word.