Page 34 of The Wilder Widows

“Geez Louise! I need a redo!”

“Doris. What the hell is a...” My eyes lit up while I struggled to choke back my laugh. “It’s an orgasm, isn’t it?”

“Don’t say that word!” Doris covered her ears.

“It is an orgasm!” I howled with laughter. “You call it a hootie?”

“Stop!” Doris shook her head as she turned an unnatural shade of head. “I was on whiskey. And we’d just been talking about it, and... well, I never had one. And yes, I call it a hootie. But that’s not my wish! I need a new one.” She reached for the note, but I snatched it away.

“Nope. This is your wish, and whiskey wishes never lie. If you want an orgasm, we’re getting you an orgasm.” Marge nodded her head decidedly.

“Stop saying that word!”

“Orgasm!” I shouted. “Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm! You’d better get used to that word because that’s exactly what we’re going to get you. Every woman deserves orgasms in her life.”

“Hell, I need one of those too.” Sylvie laughed.

“Well, Marge here is a lesbian. Maybe she could just take care of both of you, and we could move on to the next wish.” I chuckled, and Marge impaled me with a look before her stern expression faltered as she suppressed a laugh.

“If Doris wants an orgasm...a hootie, we need to do it right. We need to find her a nice, sexy stud who can rock her world like Roxy rocked mine last night.” Marge waggled her brows.

“And where exactly are we going to find this stud?”

We all sat in silence while Doris slumped back in her seat. Then Sylvie’s face lit up.

“I know where we can find a stud for Doris. There’s one city in the world known for love. And since they invented the good kind of kissing, I bet they invented one hell of a hootie too.” She pursed her lips and waited for us to catch up. When I did, she nodded along with me.

“Where? Where are we going?” Marge asked, and Doris shared the same confusion.

I knocked on the partition window, and James opened it up.

“Yes, Miss Addington?”

“First off, thanks for the rescue back there. Stellar getaway skills.”

“Why thank you, Miss Addington. It looks like you ladies had a hell of a time.”

“That we did, James. But now we’re going to need you to swing by the hotel and grab our bags, then take us to the airport.”

“Absolutely, Miss Addington. Are you heading home?”

I matched Sylvie’s mischievous smile and shook my head. “No, James, we’re not. We’re going to Paris.”

DORIS

CHAPTER NINE

In all my seventy-one years on this earth, I never thought I’d see anything as beautiful as Paris. The lovely rivers and bridges were a treat to my eyes, and the tiny cafes dotting the street looked like something straight out of a movie. I’d always had a secret dream to see it, but visiting Paris wasn’t something I thought someone like me would ever do. But as soon as Alice said it, I knew this would make a wonderful wish. Even though I had no intentions of doing that thing they had been pressuring me about since we read my wish in Las Vegas, I did want to see every nook and cranny of the City of Love.

“What about him? I bet he could curl your toes.” Alice pointed out the limo’s window and gestured to the handsome gentleman strolling down the cobblestone street.

“Stop it!” I swatted her arm as the heat rushed back to my cheeks. A flushed face had been a constant feeling since I’d heard Alice read those horrifying words I’d written, and one I knew I’d better get used to since the three Wilder Widows wouldn’t stop needling me about my... hootie. I cringed just thinking about it. “We’re in Paris, and it’s beautiful. And I’m not going to... you know, with any strange man. So just stop it!”

“‘Don’t stop’ is what you’ll be saying when you’re having your hootie. At least that’s what I said to Roxy.” Marge grinned, and I wanted to crawl inside the seat and disappear beneath the black leather. Knowing they were picturing me, you know, was more mortifying than that time I forgot to take my curlers out when I ran to get more eggs at the store.

“Are you all done yet? Can we stop worrying about that thing I wrote, and just enjoy the fact that we’re in Paris? Paris! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be in Paris.”

Sylvie sighed and stared back out the window. “I’ve always wanted to come here. It’s beautiful.”