Page 61 of The Wilder Widows

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“Ugh. Horse shit. All I smell is horse shit, Sylvie. Didn’t we have enough time with the big smelly beasts in Spain?” Alice grumbled as we climbed out of our limo at the Dude Ranch.

“You’ll live, Alice.” I inhaled a deep breath saturated with fresh air and the smell of horses I’d missed so much.

“I love horses,” Doris cooed and mimicked my deep breath. “I’ve always wanted to learn to ride. Great wish, Sylvie!”

“I don’t mind ‘em, but I’ve only been on a couple times.” Marge came up to my side, dragging her bag behind her. “But if we can run with the bulls, I don’t think we’ll have any issues herding ‘em.”

“I hate horses.” Alice huffed.

“Didn’t you grow up on a farm?” I asked, remembering her mentioning that at some point in our travels.

“I did. And yes, we had horses. And cows. And pigs. And I swore I would never be around them again. Yet... here I am. And there are pigs.” She pointed to the pigpen I hadn’t noticed. Big, pink pigs meandered around together, oinking and rutting in the mud.

“Oh, they are so cute.” Doris squealed and wandered over, cooing at each of them while they came up to investigate her.

“They aren’t cute,” Alice said. “They’re dirty. And they can eat an entire human, bones and all.”

“What?” Doris stepped back in shock but then turned and shook her finger at Alice. “Quit pulling my leg. Pigs don’t eat people.”

Marge shrugged. “Actually, she’s right. Pigs will clean up a corpse in record time. Not a trace left behind. They are my go-to in the event I ever need to hide a body. Chop it into pieces and toss it in with some pigs. Cops will never find it.”

We stood blinking at Marge and then turned and stared at the pigs. “That’s just dark, Marge,” I said.

“Dark, sure. Smart, absolutely. No coppers are gonna catch me if I need to off someone. My daughter’s a cop. She knows how to get these things taken care of. Pigs or lye... that’s how you get away with murder. The smart way.” Marge tapped on her head with a finger.

“Remind me not to piss you off.” I smiled.

“But know if you ever need to get rid of a body, I’m the first call you should make.”

“Good to know.” I laughed.

“I still think they’re cute.” Doris peered back over the fence.

Alice waved a hand toward them. “Disgusting. They’re disgusting.”

“Well, hello there!” a voice sing-songed and pulled our heads in its direction. A woman about our age sporting a cowboy hat, dirty jeans, and a flannel shirt headed our way. “I’m Madeline Walker, and I’m the owner here at Stone Creek Ranch. Welcome!”

I stepped forward, meeting her with a handshake. “Hi Madeline. I’m Sylvie, this is Doris, Alice, and Marge. We have a reservation.”

“Of course! Thank goodness for that last-minute cancellation so we could accommodate you ladies. We’re thrilled you’re here. Follow me, and I’ll take you to your cabin and show you around.” With the wave of her hand, she gestured us to follow.

We grabbed our bags and started after her. Alice tipped the limo driver and hurried to catch up. I couldn’t suppress my smile while we wound our way through the ranch. It was everything I had dreamed about and more. A childhood fantasy I now walked through. Horses grazed in the lush green pastures, and a small herd of cattle shifted in a portable corral. They looked far less frightening than the bulls we’d just seen in Spain.

“This will be your cabin for the weekend,” Madeline said, opening the door to a small log building.

“It’s charming!” Doris stepped in first, and I followed. Rustic but clean, I’d imagined a cabin on a dude ranch would look just like this. Antlers hung along the wall, perched above the log bed frames. A large bearskin rug stretched across the floor in front of the stone fireplace situated below a mantle holding framed black and white photos of cowboys and rodeo riders.

“I’m glad you like it,” Madeline said, taking Doris’s bag and setting it in the corner. “You ladies can set your bags over here.”

We walked over, setting down our bags one by one.

“Normally, we like to give you a night in the cabin before we head out on our cattle drive, but since you are coming in a day late due to your travels, your first night will be out under the open country sky.”

“Wait...” Alice lifted a finger and closed her eyes. “Camping?”

Madeline smiled and nodded.