Page 28 of Born to be Wilder

“These people can actually sing,” I said. “I thought karaoke was supposed to be, like… bad.”

“Oh, some people take this very seriously,” Doris said. “There’s a local restaurant two towns over from the ranch, and Axel and I go there for Friday night fish fries sometimes. They have karaoke there. This one girl? Someone said she got a record deal from her karaoke performance! Some of these people are record quality.”

I swallowed over the bile rising in my throat. “Great. Now I feel really excited to get up there and humiliate myself.” I pressed my head into my folded arms, not even caring that the table was sticky. “What an idiot. Why didn’t I just let us drive on past? I just had to scream ‘stop the RV’ like a moron because I had this brilliant idea to face my greatest fear and sing karaoke. No. You know what? I’m not doing it.”

“You’re doing it,” Alice said.

I snapped my head up and she wasn’t even looking up from her menu. “I’m not. I’m still the captain, and I’m recanting the wish. My wish is now NO ONE sings karaoke. There. Problem solved.”

“You are no longer wearing the Viking helmet. You took it off to come in here; therefore, you have no power.” Marge gave me a sly grin.

My mouth dropped open. “What? That’s not a thing.”

“It’s a thing.” She smiled bigger.

“Fine, then I’m going back to the RV to get the Viking hat, putting it on, and wishing that NO ONE sings karaoke tonight.”

“Oh, I have it right here in my purse. I grabbed it.” Doris opened her oversized pink purse, but Marge reached over and snatched it. “Hey!”

“Do not give her the captain’s hat!” Marge tucked the purse behind her back.

“Marge! Give me the hat!”

“No.”

“Marge!”

“No.”

I glared at her. “If you don’t give me that hat so I can unwish this idiotic idea, I swear to God I’m going to⁠—”

Alice closed her eyes and shouted, “Enough!”

We sat back, stunned for a moment.

She smoothed her hair, and as I looked at her, the pink lipstick still smeared across her face made me stifle a laugh.

“You said you wanted to be brave to show me how to be brave, right?”

I slunk in my seat. “Yes.”

“Good. Then show me how brave you are. Because you’re right. If I can face cancer, you sure as hell can stand on a stage and make a fool of yourself. And if I watch you do it, then that is exactly what I need to find the strength to fight my battle too.”

I pressed a hand to my chest, my breath catching. “Oh, Alice. Really? It would mean that much to you if I sang tonight?”

She stared at me for a long moment, eyes locked with mine… and then her face cracked.

“Damn it. I tried to keep a straight face.”

“Alice!” I threw my napkin at her. “I thought you were serious! Well, now I don’t feel so bad.” I looked at her lipstick-marked face, a smirk lifting my lips.

“About what?”

My smirk grew. “About nothing. Well, in that case, if it isn’t going to be inspiring to you, then I’m really not doing it.”

“Bull pucky!” Marge pounded a fist on the table, and the water glasses shook. “You’re not chickening out, you pansy. She may not admit it, but I know Alice will be inspired to see you face plant up there in her honor. So, you’re going, Sylvie. Even if I have to drag you. You’re facing your fears tonight. Comprende?”

I sat back a little, partially scared to say no and partially inspired to say yes.