Page 55 of Born to be Wilder

“Okay, I love this place,” Doris whispered, looking around with wide eyes. “It smells Heavenly in here.”

“I see you ogling her apron. Don’t go stealing it.”

Doris scoffed. “I would never steal!” Then she looked over at Mawmaw. “But it is lovely! Would be quite a piece in the Apron Museum.”

“It’s pretty cool,” Sylvie agreed, studying the menu. “Definitely feels like we’re in the authentic South now.”

“You know what I just realized,” I whispered, leaning over the table. “This is True Blood territory.”

“What are you talking about?” Alice scrunched up her face.

Sylvie chuckled. “The show. True Blood. It’s about vampires in a town that, well, she’s right… looks a lot like this one.”

I softly slapped the table. “See? Sylvie gets it.”

“Gets what?” Doris’s eyes got big.

“That this place is teeming with vampires. Gotta be.”

Doris’s big eyes got bigger. “What?”

Sylvie touched Doris’s hand. “She’s teasing, Doris. There aren’t any vampires here.”

I scanned the room, my gaze landing on a guy wearing a camouflage hat at the bar. He had dark hair, a rugged jawline, and a look of permanent mystery. “Look at him. Ten to one he’s a vampire.”

They all peered over at him.

“Stop it, Marge. No such thing as vampires,” Doris whispered, but fear bloomed in her eyes.

I gestured at the general atmosphere. “Lot of vampire lore down here. Old Creole stuff, voodoo, all of it.” I looked around the diner with genuine appreciation.

“Marge,” Alice scolded. “You’re scaring Doris.”

I leaned forward on my elbows. “This is actually perfect. We should look into getting Alice bitten while we’re here. Solve the whole cancer situation in one go.”

Alice looked at me over her menu. “I’m not becoming a vampire.”

“You wouldn’t have cancer.”

“I’d be dead.”

“Undead,” I corrected. “And undead is better than dead.”

“Oh! Wait. Becoming a vampire means eternal beauty, right?” Alice sat up a little taller. “Maybe I am interested.”

Doris practically shrieked but leaned forward, hushing her panicked voice. “Vampires are demons! We cannot get turned into vampires or I’ll never get into Heaven! No! Absolutely not!”

Sylvie laughed. “Don’t worry, Doris. I don’t think you need to be afraid of us turning into vampires. You’ve already got enough to worry about trying to save our souls.”

Doris pointed a finger at each of us. “I’m serious, girls. If it turns out vampires are real, none of you had better get turned. There’s no way I can convince God to let a vampire into Heaven no matter how good I am!”

“It’s a genuine option and I think we should explore it.” I looked around the diner. “That guy—” I tipped my chin toward a man sitting at the counter, his back to us, broad shoulders under a flannel shirt. “Bet he’d bite you for a few bucks. Saw his face when we walked in. He’s a looker, so it wouldn’t even be that unpleasant.”

Sylvie smirked. “He is rather good-looking in that rugged kind of way.”

“Too good-looking,” I noted. “For this middle-of-nowhere diner? Suspicious. I’m telling you… vampire.”

“Marge, stop.” Doris clutched her menu like a prayer book.