Page 61 of Born to be Wilder

“They’re telling you to take off your ear protection. Now can ya hear us?”

She blinked fast. “Oh. Yes, I can hear everyone now.”

“And are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes. I think so.” Then her eyes grew as she looked around at the reed bed we’d embedded ourselves in, the mud along the bank, and the cypress trees looming overhead. “But we’re stuck, aren’t we? Are we stuck in the bayou? Can the gators get us? Oh no. I need to pray. Where is my rosary? I lost it!”

I planted my hands on my hips. “Oh, it’s not lost. We know exactly where it is, Doris.”

“You do? Where?” She looked around.

“Seriously, Doris? You really don’t know where it went?” Sylvie sighed.

Alice pointed at the fan. “I’ll give you one guess why we crashed, Doris.”

Like a little lightbulb flickering over her head, she gasped, hands flying to her mouth. “Oh no! Did my… Did I… Is it…” She sucked air through her teeth. “Oops.”

I turned to Bill and the widows, pointing a finger at Doris. “I want this on the record because I’m not taking the blame for this. I provided a perfectly good wish and a perfectly good airboat and a perfectly good captain. My wish went sideways—literally—because of her!”

“It was an accident!” Doris cried, her lower lip trembling. “I was praying for our safety! I was praying for four!”

“Well, stop! You took out an entire airboat with a Hail Mary, Doris!” Alice snapped, though her voice softened when Doris recoiled. “Prayer got us into this mess. Maybe let’s lay off the prayer train for a while.”

“I’m sorry!” Doris wailed. “I was scared! I always pray when I’m scared. What if we’re stuck here? What if the alligators get us?”

“Ah, doncha worry. Ain’t no gators gonna get you.” Bayou Bill sighed, looking at his jammed rudder. “But I do need to figure out how to get us out of here. If I need to call in for a rescue, I won’t ever hear the end of it.” He rubbed a hand across the base of his neck as he stared back at the mangled rudder. “Well, ain’t this a peach. Really got all jumbled up in there, didn’t it? Let me see if I can unjam this mess.”

He stood, looked at the fan, then at the bank, then at the water around us, and then finally at us. “I’ve gotta go in to get it free,” he said.

“You can’t!” Doris grabbed his arm. “There are gators!”

“I’ll be fine, ma’am,” Bill said, already kicking off his boots. “I’ve been in this water since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.”

“Bill, there really are a lot of gators.” I pointed to two large ones lounging nearby.

“These boys on this bank are sun lazy.” He nodded at the gators about thirty feet away who hadn’t moved since we’d crashed. “They ate this morning. They’re not interested.” He paused. “Probably.”

“Probably?” Sylvie repeated faintly.

He was already over the side, water coming up to his thighs, boots finding purchase in the mud.

“Stay close. If the gators get him, we’re on our own.” I clutched my fists tight. “But don’t worry, ladies, I’ll beat those hungry bastards back.”

Doris let out a little cry, and Sylvie and Alice squished in tighter beside me.

We watched him work. He was methodical—no sudden movements, no noise, one eye on the gators and one on the mechanism as he carefully unwound the chain from the linkage, easing the rosary free from where it had jammed.

“He’s so brave,” Doris whispered.

“He really is,” Sylvie agreed.

“Still might be a vampire,” I said. “Maybe that’s why he’s not scared. Knows he can take ’em.”

“Marge.” Alice briefly closed her eyes.

Bill straightened, held up the rosary, and looked at it. “Got ’er!”

I frowned, disappointed but not surprised. “Well, that settles it. He’s in the sun and holding a rosary. Not a vampire. Just a very brave airboat captain.”