Page 79 of Born to be Wilder

Sylvie swatted my hand. “Would you put that down! Roger said not to touch anything.”

Doris looked left and right. “Don’t get us in trouble, Marge!”

I ignored them, opening it up and sniffing. “Psht. Water. Colored water. You’d think with top-tier stars like Jackson and Colt, they could have sprung for real whiskey. They gotta have the budget. You need authenticity to win the big awards. Moviegoers may not be able to smell or taste the whiskey, but deep down, they’ll know.”

Sylvie arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t know until you smelled it. Now put that down!”

I put the bottle back where I’d found it and moved over to look at more of the authentic items strewn throughout the scene. I got to the piano, but when I leaned down to tap the keys, the cover slammed shut.

I snatched my hand back just in time. “You almost got my fingers!” I spun to see the attacker, and it was Dan, his eyebrows raised in warning.

“Don’t. Touch. Anything.”

“It’s a piano. It’s literally made to be touched,” I defended.

He pointed toward a corner of the saloon with the cameras and crew all huddled together. “Go over there. Stay behind everyone, and for the love of God… be quiet. If you cause any trouble during this scene, you’re out. We’re over budget, behind schedule, and losing light. We don’t have time for dozens of retakes. Understand?”

I grumbled but gave him a mock salute. We were still in our costumes, so I tipped my Stetson at the crew as we joined them.

“I just want to say”—I leaned over Roger’s shoulder as he stared at his monitor—“that Buck would actually be a natural fit for this scene.”

He didn’t look up. “You don’t even know what the scene is.”

“Hear me out. Buck would be a regular at the saloon. The madam and Buck would have an understanding—mutual respect between two women who’ve made it in a man’s world. It’s actually a very rich dynamic if you think about it.”

“Marge,” Dan said, approaching from Roger’s other side.

“Okay, just, listen to this brilliance. Tell me I’m wrong. If the madam is supposed to be the eyes and ears of the town, she needs a bodyguard. Someone who blends in with the shadows but could snap a man’s neck like a dry twig. Enter Buckshot.” I framed my face with my hands. “I’m thinking I stand by the piano, cleaning my fingernails with a knife.”

Roger didn’t even look up. “You’re wrong.”

“I could have a toothpick.” I ignored him. “Very menacing. A silent, toothpick-chewing sentinel ready to burst into frontier justice on a whim if any of these lily-livered, dog-faced bastards so much as touches her.” My eyes lit up. “Oh! What if they do! Someone grabs her arm, and BAM! Buckshot draws. So fast the human eye can’t even process it. Then she walks over and snaps his fingers one by one, his screams ripping through the air⁠—”

“Marge,” Clarice snapped, startling me with her sudden presence.

I spun to look at her.

Her sunglasses now off, I could see the intensity of those eyes as they locked with mine. “If Buckshot so much as breathes in the direction of this scene, I will personally go through every frame she’s in and erase her from history.”

My eyes widened. “You wouldn’t. Buckshot really added to the gunfight scene. Even if you wouldn’t let me do what I think was the right direction and take the kill shot.”

“I will. Now go. Find a corner. Stay there.”

“No appreciation for the craft,” I muttered, settling my Stetson as I moved to a corner behind her and the crew. “They’re going to get to the editing room and realize they’ve got a massive Buckshot-shaped hole in their narrative.”

“I think they’ll manage, Marge,” Sylvie said. Then her eyes darted to the grand staircase at the back of the room. “Where is Alice? They’ve been back there for ages.”

Anders appeared at the top of the stairs, hurrying down so fast he almost tripped. “She’s ready. We can shoot!”

Doris squealed beside me. “Oh, this is so exciting! Alice is going to be a star!”

Toby’s voice cut through the din. “Quiet on set!”

“Set the scene!” someone called.

In moments, extras rolled in, filling the tables, picking up playing cards, nursing drinks, and settling into their roles.

“This is meant to be one continuous shot!” Anders called as he hit the bottom stairs, pausing there for a moment. “You all know your jobs. No one screw it up or we’ll need to start from the top, so no funny business!”