Page 46 of Split You Open

My hand falls to my side as my heart sinks. With a deep breath, I give her the truth.

“Ledger used to keep a woman in the basement, in the cage Rhett told us about,” I continue, hating the next step she takes backward. The distance is going to tear me apart. “Ledger wanted you Blair, but he’d accepted that he never would—so he settled for someone who was willing to play the part of Blair in his life. To the best of my knowledge, he didn’t touch Ashleigh—just simply sat and stared as she read out a few lines on a sheet of paper he wanted to her from her, your, lips. For months, I was unaware he was doing this, but when I did learn of the woman, I just stood by and allowed him to keep her down there for…well, too long. When I finally put my foot down, Ledger let her go and promised that he wouldn’t let his obsession with you get that bad again. I wanted to believe him, so I did.”

Upstairs, rhythmic banging starts back up.

I ignore the noise as Blair and I stare at one another.

“When Ledger told me you were coming, I didn’t want you here. Not because I had anything against you, but because I knew Ledger wouldn’t be able to be in your presence and keep himself in check. I was worried about your safety and his sanity.”

I shake my head before dropping my chin to my chest.

“But you caved,” Blair guesses, her voice carefully void of any emotion.

“Yes,” I rasp out. “I did. He said you were in trouble and had nowhere else to go. I knew what that felt like and I couldn’t let that happen to anyone else. Ledger vowed he would keep his hands off you, keep his distance. He gave me sole dominion to take care of you.”

There’s a short pause as I try to work through the shitstorm whirling around in my chest. Failure, regret… It’s all there, burrowing deeper and deeper inside of me.

Blair says nothing while she waits for me to continue.

The silence between us is as thick as it is unfamiliar.

In the past, when Blair and I were quiet, there was a camaraderie in it. A comfortable moment between two people who didn’t need to fill the silence to enjoy each other’s presence.

This is not that.

“So,” she hedges, breaking our silence. “Was I just a job, then? Everything between us was to satisfy an itch for Ledger?”

My head jerks up as I gasp in horror.

“No!” I promise vehemently. “It wasn’t like that.”

The space between us now feels worse than the miles we’d been apart over the course of the past nine days.

Unable to stand it a moment longer, I close the distance between us.

Blair doesn’t move back but her body stiffens as if bracing for a fight. I stop before her as panic and helplessness consume me. I drop to my knees, grab her hips and bow my head before her.

“I knew, this whole time, that you were Ledger’s unhealthy obsession and still I let you come here—that’s where I went wrong.” I tell her in earnest. “But the most messed up thing about all of this is that I’m so fucking grateful you showed up, despite Ledger’s proclivities. I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you what Ledger was capable of. I’m sorry, I couldn’t protect you when you needed it. I’m so fucking sorry, Blair.”

I cling to her, tightening my hold in case she balks.

“Blair, I love you. This is love that poets sing about. It’s beautiful and terrifying and uncontrollable. Everything between us was, and is, real, Blair. I swear it. Yes, I knew Ledger was feeding off us, but none of this was for his benefit.”

“Wes…”

“I don’t know why Ledger hired people to kill you, Blair,” I continue, desperate to get this off my chest and to reassure her I’m not that monstrous. “Not when he’s wanted you for so fucking long. It honestly doesn’t make any sense. Forgive me, Blair, for not protecting you from any of this.”

“Wesley.”

My head jerks up and I find myself staring into troubled eyes. Blair reaches down to cup my face in between her hands. Her thumb brushes against my cheek.

“This isn’t your fault, Wes.”

I blink rapidly, trying to understand her response.

“What are you talking about? I knew⁠—”

“You can’t control others. What Ledger has done, that’s on him,” she interrupts quietly as her shoulders slowly sag.