Page 195 of In at the Deep End

“You don’t have to tell me his name.”

Matt laughed shakily. “I get the feeling you already know.”

There was a pause. “Owen.”

He stopped breathing.

“You can only be talking about Owen.”

Matt wiped away the tears that pricked the corners of his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

He laughed through the tears. “You keep saying that.”

“I’m thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“It is.” Dad paused. “And for what it’s worth, I’m not worried about his age.”

Matt’s chest tightened. “You’re not?”

“No. What concerns me more is that you’re hurting.” A moment’s pause. “This change you mentioned… did Owen initiate it?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t you ask him what was going on?”

“I couldn’t. I was too frightened I’d got it wrong.”

Dad let that sit for a moment. “Matt, you can’t build a relationship out of guessing what someone else feels. You have to ask.”

Matt swallowed. “But what if I’m afraid of the answer?” Breathing felt so fucking difficult. “If he tells me I’m wrong, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“You’ll survive it.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know.”

Matt closed his eyes. “I love him.” The words were barely more than a whisper.

Dad didn’t answer immediately. When he did, his voice was very gentle. “And does he love you back?”

Matt’s throat closed. “I don’t know.”

Dad sighed. “Then perhaps that’s the question you need answered.”

Matt stared through the glass.

Somewhere inside him, beneath all the fear and hurt and the certainty he’d somehow misunderstood everything, there was still one stubborn little piece of hope that one day he’d end up with Owen.

The safest place he’d ever found and also the person most capable of breaking his heart.

Matt rubbed his thumb against the edge of his phone. “I keep thinking I must have done something.”

Dad’s breathing caught. “What makes you think that?”