Page 115 of The Has-Been

His arms go limp at his sides, shoulders slumping like I’ve just removed a considerable weight from his shoulders.

I swallow, forcing the words out, “I won’t pretend that it didn’t hurt, having to do it alone. But—I forgive you. I’ve forgiven myself.” Strange sounds squeak out of me, breathlessly choking me as I try grasping for my composure.

Tears well up in his eyes as he questions, “A baby?”

I nod, the street lamps blurring from the tears beading in my eyes.

“Oh my God. Aubrey.” He says, tears running down his face. He doesn’t try to wipe them away, and I’m glad that he doesn’t. “How far—” he chokes.

“I was about seven weeks—it was early.”

He crosses the distance suddenly, grabbing me up tightly.

I swear I can feel his heart beating rapidly, like it’s flying out of his chest.

“I should have been there—I should have figured it out⁠—”

I shake my head. No, I don’t want him to regret not recognizing it. We both made mistakes. But that’s life.

His face twists as his large hands cup my face, his stare settling into me, our looks fading into one another.

“Aubrey, please forgive me.” His chest heaves, his watery gaze unbearable. His sentences blur together. “Never again, I won’t leave you alone—never again.”

Then he pulls me firmly against his chest, rocking back and forth.

He chokes on a cry, eyes tinged red, making my own heart do little flips in my chest. Regardless, I feel like I can breathe for the first time. He frantically kisses my hair, pulling me into his chest. “I love you so much. God, I hope you know that.”

After a while, when I can finally form words over our sobs, I declare, “I love you, too. I never stopped.” His head lolls back, like he is finally able to breathe. “Together, we’ll never have to face that quiet ever again. Nothing that is broken is ever really beyond repair…look at us. Right here—right now. Two broken people trying to put it back together.”

He pulls me tighter as I add, “One day we can work on repairing what almost was.” I glance at the pregnancy test still in his fingers. “But for now, I want to live in the noise. I want to relish in what we do have. Us.” My hands tremor at my sides. But he picks them up, kissing each one softly, settling them. “You asked me—that first night you stayed with me again. If this were heaven or hell.” His eyes find mine, tears making them sparkle like emeralds. “It’s neither, Liam. This is life. This is living. It’s beautiful and messy—and painful. But it’s real. It’s ours.”

He smiles, his teeth gleaming in the dark. Then he picks me up, my legs wrapping around him as he kisses me. The answer to a thousand questions.

“Aubrey,” he says as he pulls free of our kiss. I smile down at him, still clutching him close—not near ready to be free of him yet—ever.

“Yes,” I murmur, grinning.

“We were never broken—just human.”

I press another quick kiss to his lips as he drops me to my feet. We stay that way for a while, locked tight onto one another—neither willing to let go.

After a while, I say, “I do have one more thing I should probably tell you.”

His head jerks back, a slow smile spreading across his face, like whatever it is, no matter how big or small, we can overcome it.

“I have a wicked stomach bug.” I snort, knowing there is no way he’s not going to catch it.

Liam’s face twists as he looks at the discarded pregnancy test, his brain putting everything together. He shrugs, his head tossing back in laughter as he murmurs, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, “I’ve lived through worse.”

My chest tightens. He’s right. We both have.

My eyes go glassy as he leans in and presses a kiss to my lips.

And finally, I’m home.

EPILOGUE—THE HAS-BEEN

LIAM