Page 17 of The Has-Been

No desire to date ever again, actually.

My mom insists that one day, when I meet the right person, I’ll change my mind. But the thought of being with anyone except Liam turns my stomach, even after being broken up for over a year.

I hold up a hand in defense of my outfit choice. “Look, I didn’t feel like changing, and what does it matter what I wear?” I make a point of looking around. “It’s not like anyone is going to notice.”

June takes a sip of her wine. She has always prided herself on being the sophisticated one, so she insists on drinking wine at a college bar. Unlike me, who has actually grown to enjoy the taste of beer more than anything else. But I try not to think too much about that.

“Next time,” she says, setting her glass down, “get something from my closet.”

I raise my brows, taking a look at her outfit. She’s wearing a corset top, jeans, and black knee-high boots. Of course, she looks like she just stepped from a photoshoot. But she’s always had that model-esque look to her.

Whereas I just have the ‘hometown’ good looks. You know, the kind that makes you want to take me home to your mom, but not the kind you see in a magazine.

I nod my head, pretending to thank her for her offer of the clothes, though she and I both know I would never wear any of them. I’m honestly just impressed that she offered. Rory is always dying to wear anything of hers, but June never lets her. In fact, last year, when Rory borrowed a pair of June’s heels, she called the cops. Trying to say Rory “stole” them. I spent an hour explaining to the campus police that this was no more than a sisterly fight.

“On a more serious note—” June turns on the barstool to face me. “How awkward was it running into Liam? And in sweatpants, no less?” My heart drops to my stomach. She saw that? I make an attempt to open my mouth, but she gently presses a finger to my lips. “Don’t bother lying because you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I take a deep breath through my nose.

“That bad, huh?”

I drain half my beer before answering. “He didn’t even say hello! Or hey, or fuck you!” I slam my glass down. “Just stormed out the door and that’s it! I mean—” I finally find the courage to meet June’s gaze, “I mean, he can’t avoid me this whole year!”

The bartender approaches and asks if I want another, which I clearly agree to because alcohol is the only thing strong enough to remove the recent encounter from my mind.

“Delleth is a big campus, but not that big. That’s a part of its charm, right? Big college with small campus vibes! I mean, he couldn’t even look at me! I didn’t even have his name out of my mouth, and he was running away like a scared puppy!”

Words vomit from my mouth. I don’t even realize what I’m saying, and honestly, I was just as awkward standing there, staring off into space, silent, struck speechless by him and the memories he stirred up.

June’s eyes narrow, looking at something far beyond me. She lays a hand on my shoulder, bringing her attention back to me for a final moment.

“You broke his heart, Aubs. People just don’t get over that. Plus—” she says, lower, grabbing her clutch and tucking it under her arm. “He’s been through a lot. He lost his scholarship. Lost his chance to play in the NHL. Almost lost his life. Then lost you.” Her thin shoulders rise as she finishes her glass of wine. “I think he’s allowed to be a little fucked up…don’t you think?”

June doesn’t wait for my response before she walks away.

“Where are you—” I ask, spinning on my stool to watch June disappear into the crowds. But my words are cut short as I see Brennan eyeing her from afar.

June doesn’t think I know…but I’m more than aware that she’s been hooking up with Liam’s friend and roommate over the summer. I know she’s hiding it to try to spare me, but it’s so obvious I can’t help but let it irritate me.

Does she think I’m that clueless? It’s not like I’m upset. I mean, what is there to be upset about anyway? I broke up with Liam after the incident, just weeks before my junior year started—that’s been over a year ago. Plus, I would never stop her from seeing one of his friends—no matter how awkward it might be for me. I want June to be happy. It’s just…Brennan Barnes? She could have anyone…but that idiot? Who sleeps with anyone?

I sigh. Whatever. If he makes her happy, then so be it.

I watch as June glances behind her, clearly checking to see if I’m watching as she slips out the door. Not even thirty seconds go by before Brennan does the same.

So much for her spending the night hanging out with me. A frustrated exhale escapes me. If I’d known Rory and June were going to dip on me, I would have just stayed home with Reese.

As I sip my drink, my mind begins to spiral.

First, I see Liam.

Then Brennan.

I wonder if the third pain in my ass is around here somewhere?

As if only the thought of him could summon him to appear, a heavy, far too tight grip grasps my shoulder.

“IF IT ISN’T AUBREY FUCKING HEARTEATER!”