Page 20 of The Has-Been

I blink. Just once. And she’s gone.

“I saw my ex—I saw Aubrey.” I spit out, still staring at the place she once filled moments before. I shake my head, forcing myself to find Jasmine through the screen.

She shows no sign of emotion. Her fingers are weaving through one another as she lays them on her desk.

“And you weren’t expecting that—it took you off guard,” she confirms for me.

I nod.

“And did you speak with her? Was there an exchange of words?”

I stare over my computer, cheeks expanding with air as I draw in a breath. I shake my head. Eyes focused out my window, on the snow-covered lawn outside. I’m about to open my mouth, the words right on the tip of my tongue.

But my brows furrow together as I hear a loud thud from the room next to me—Brennan’s room. A few seconds later, I see a dark-haired woman tiptoeing through the layers of snow outside, and for a second, I question if it’s just another memory. Another vision of Aubrey plaguing me.

Sure, the figure is recognizable, but not familiar in the way I know—knew, Aubrey.

The woman turns around, eyes going wide as she glimpses me staring at her out the window. Her face goes red, and she raises a hand and bolts off.

It takes me several seconds to recognize who she was.

June Vaughn…Aubrey’s cousin.

Oh, I’m going to fucking kill Brennan when I get my⁠—

“Liam, everything okay?” Jasmine questions as if I had entirely forgotten about the therapy session. “I asked if you talked to Aubrey…”

I shake my head. “Sorry.” Clearing my throat, I turn my attention back to the video call. “I, uh, I didn’t,” I admit readily. “I-I bolted before my name fully left her lips.” And boy, do I feel like a coward for admitting that.

Jasmine makes another note. Is that a smile on her face, or am I imagining it?

Imagining—because a second later, her face is all hard lines.

“Okay. Let’s pause there.” She waits until I meet her eyes through the screen. “You left before talking with her. That tells me something felt overwhelming to you.” She explains. “Did this interaction take place at the bar, Melbourne’s?” she questions, looking through her notes of places from my past that might be cause for concern.

I nod.

“The bar was already a trigger.” Her words come slowly. “Alcohol, noise, people from the past who might remember you a certain way. That place holds many memories…You were already dealing with a lot.”

I think back to the game rerun, and the woman, Emery, and how I had a flashback of that night in the hospital. I was already spiraling out of control long before I ran into Aubrey.

“I don’t believe seeing your ex was the problem. It was just the final stack on triggers that were becoming too heavy.”

I know her words are valid. I was already in a dark place long before Aubrey showed up.

“I’m not saying you need to see her anytime soon—especially not right now with you juggling the upcoming season and possible triggers associated with that…but—” she gives me a look over her glasses, “I do believe meeting with her eventually would be good for you both. I would suggest doing it in a place that isn’t tied to drinking or the past. Perhaps you would feel a lot more in control.”

I consider her words, but don’t say anything more on the subject.

We talk for several more minutes, mainly about school and how I’m handling the stress appropriately. As the session ends, Jasmine admits she’s very impressed with my progress, which is a relief because I feel like I’m failing.

And the worst of it hasn’t even started yet.

“Next week we will have a lot to unpack,” she puts forth softly. Seems she’s as concerned about my upcoming time working with the team as I am. “Please call me if anything happens or if you need to talk. You know I’m always here…but…think about what I said regarding Aubrey.” Her brows shoot up, giving me an encouraging look as she states, “Perhaps that could be one of your long-term goals, something to do before the end of the semester?”

She smiles widely when I agree, and we share our goodbyes.

I snap my computer screen closed, feeling better about the session now than I did going in. They are emotionally and mentally exhausting, but I can’t lie: I know they are helping.