Page 3 of The Has-Been

The first game of the season isn’t until October.

One month.

Those two words loop as I swallow the lump in my throat. Moving to leave, Sarah’s parting words stop me in my tracks, “We are happy to have you back, Liam.”

I lower my head, my goodbye barely audible as I start my long walk back.

Michigan’s fair weather feels wasted on me as I navigate my way to my apartment off-campus. The breeze flutters the strands of my blonde hair, bringing the scent of fallen leaves, but I can’t enjoy it.

No, because the only thing I can think about is what little time I have left before the first ghost of my past returns.

One. Month. Only thirty days to find the courage to face the first obstacle.

Hockey.

I exhale sharply, knowing no amount of time will prepare me for the second. But I don’t let myself think of her.

Not today. Not ever.

AUBREY

Delleth College was once like home to me.

The one place I never wanted to leave.

The one place I couldn’t wait to come back to.

But that was then, before⁠—

Now, it’s the place I want to avoid.

A place I wish I were driving in the opposite direction from.

The old-stone architecture buzzes past as I drive under the tall gateway sign, officially marking my arrival on campus. My heart doesn’t flip with excitement, my pulse doesn’t race, and a smile certainly doesn’t pull on my lips.

No.

No, deep lines from my scowl are etched into my forehead, my heart has found its home deep in my abdomen, and my breath? It’s caught in my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

Is it too late to turn back around?

To go back home?

My jaw quivers, my teeth chattering together as I squeeze the steering wheel tighter, desperately trying to keep it together.

Only two more semesters.

Only one more school year.

I can do this.

When I drive past the hockey arena, my eyes instinctively look over it—the only place on campus where I once spent more time than my condo. Hockey—like Delleth, like my favorite songs, like so many other things—is just one of the many things that were taken from me.

Growing up in my family, it’s not just a sport. It’s a lifestyle. We Vaughns bleed Detroit red. From the moment we’re born, it’s ingrained in us to love it.

That’s why I centered my whole career around it, for my love of the game.

To work with athletes who admire the sport as much as I do.