Page 84 of The Has-Been

And I’m just desperate enough to let her.

CHAPTER 17

PEARL NECKLACE

AUBREY

I wake up the next day alone.

Yes—ALONE.

But not because I wanted to.

Definitely not because my vagina wanted me to.

But because Liam wanted me to…

And God—I’m very conflicted about that right now.

I know it was the right choice—I realize it’s not wise for us to jump right back into bed together.

There are so many things we still need to talk about, something significant I need to tell him. But we both are avoiding it. Even him—he hasn’t mentioned his overdose, what happened that night. Hasn’t admitted that he is still very clearly in love with me.

Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt—it’s a river that Liam and I are drowning each other in.

We don’t mean to avoid it; we just don’t want to hurt one another again. We are desperate to leave the pain behind. But can there really be a future without it?

How long can we evade it before it catches up with us?

My body fucking aches. My mind is a torment of thoughts.

I’m so fucking desperate for release, to let go of all this pent-up need. Maybe then I can think clearly and can figure out whatever the hell it is I want.

Do I want to tell him? Can he handle the truth?

I don’t want to think of the implications or complications. Not right now.

Not today—today, I need release.

The heat at my core is throbbing, wild, untamed, desperate. I know if I don’t do it myself, then I might get in my car and drive over to Liam’s. Push him against the wall. Feel the hardness of his want against me.

Fuck, I’m so wet just thinking about it.

I reach into my nightstand and pull out my vibrator, praying it’s charged.

Thankfully, it comes to life and buzzes in my hand as I place it at my center. My head pushes into my pillow as my back arches. I spread my legs impossibly wider, my eyes slam close. God, I’m already so close.

I blame Liam.

Oh, I shouldn’t be thinking of him right now. I can’t help it, though. Because it’s him that’s making me this wet, it’s him who I really want, who I’m imagining.

My makeshift Liam continues to work over my sensitive areas. My toes curl as I feel an orgasm building.

I’m so close.

So fucking close.

Then I can taste him. His lips over mine. His finger as it slides between my teeth, his salty taste coating my tongue. I sigh, thinking about how hard he had been when I climbed on top of him nights ago—his finger in my mouth, pressing deeper as he watched me gag on it with sultry eyes.