Page 96 of The Time of My Afterlife

FLORENCE

We’re knocking on Mum’s front door. My heart is thumping in my chest.

Mum is not lonely, I keep telling myself. She would have told me.

The thought of her feeling like she’s unable to confide in me is too upsetting to think about.

That nagging doubt has returned, and I wish it would leave me alone. The one telling me Mum hasn’t been acting like herself for a while. Was she trying to confide in me?

Why did she have to write to Jane’s podcast?

Mum opens the door and her face is the picture of surprise. ‘Florence and Clark – is everything all right?’

She’s dressed in a sweatshirt and leggings, but she doesn’t look herself. The absence of the gold earrings is unsettling.

‘Hello, Mum, can we come in?’

She smiles. ‘Of course.’

We step inside and I steal a glance at Dad’s old coat still hanging on the hook by the door. I follow her through the hallway and past the dent in the wall made by Dad. He’d been moving a new sofa and accidentally swung the wooden arm into the wall. It always makes me smile. I trail my fingers over the dent.

As we pass the living room, Clark gestures to the door. ‘I’ll be in here. You two need to talk alone.’

As I enter the kitchen, my eyes flick to the wall where Dad’s photos hang in a pretty constellation of frames. They always calm me when I come to see Mum. I helped to put them up, buying lots of little white frames and filling them with pictures of Dad. There were so many to choose from.

I stop and stare at the empty wall.

‘Where are Dad’s photos?’

She casts me a pained look. ‘I’ve taken them down.’

‘What? Why?’ My chest starts to ache.

Mum hangs her head. ‘He’s not coming back, Florence.’

‘I know that but where are the photos?’

She lets out a heavy sigh. ‘They were becoming a sad reminder for me.’

‘A sad reminder?’ I gasp. ‘Dad?’

When she lifts her face to mine, I can see that her eyes are pink and watery. ‘I need to move on with my life. I will always love him but…’

My irritation spikes. ‘Is this Steve’s doing? Does he want you to take all the photos down? I knew he was trouble.’

Mum shakes her head. ‘No, Florence.’

‘You don’t have to do whatever Steve says.’

‘He’s not said anything,’ she groans. ‘In fact, he’s been really supportive.’

I sit down on a stool and stare at the empty wall. ‘You can’t do this, Mum.’ I place my face in my hands.

‘Florence, I have to move on, or I am going to go batty.’

‘But you will forget him.’

She comes over to me and puts her arms over my shoulders. ‘I will never forget your father.’