Page 106 of The Contract Marriage

“Liam!” Olivia calls out in alarm.

I plop down on the couch, propping my elbows on my knees, and bury my face in my hands. Olivia stops in front of me, the tips of her flats only an inch from my shiny loafers. Her fingers weave through my hair. Every tender stroke cuts into my bleeding heart.

“Liam, you’re scaring me,” she whispers shakily.

I lift my head. My eyes catch the sight of the Rubedo—the most ostentatious and clearest mark that she’s mine. What I didn’t realize back then was that she doesn’t have to wear it forever. She can always slide it off her finger and toss it back to me, the way I flicked the ring to Tyler.

Part of me screams I can keep her anyway. She can’t leave here if I don’t want her to. The darkly possessive thought pounds at me, desperately and shamefully. But I don’t just want her body. I want her love. Her smile, her humor, her affectionate touches. If I can’t have them—

—then I want nothing.

The realization leaves me breathless. I stare at her, my mouth slightly parted. All or nothing. That’s my line.

“Why did you pick me?” The question rolls from my tongue with desperation.

She gives me a puzzled look. “What? I don’t understand.”

Bullshit. She knows exactly what I mean. My chest tightens. “You could’ve chosen anybody in the city to father your baby. You just wanted a husband and a baby to claim your mother’s estate, right? So why me?”

Her jaw slackens. Shock flits across her beautiful face as she blinks.

“Actually, forget that. Of course you didn’t have any feelings back then. But now… The dance, the tarte… You must’ve developed some feelings, right?” Please tell me you have, even if they’re as mild as liking a little dandelion growing from the sidewalk. I can work with that.

“Liam, I…” Her throat works. “What’s this about?”

“Am I just a means to an end?” The need to know overwhelms the fear that everything she told Simon might be true.

She licks her lips, then lets out a stiff laugh. “Don’t be so dramatic. Of course you’re important. You’re the father of my baby.”

Except…any man in the city could’ve given her a baby. It didn’t have to be me. She would smile like this to any man capable of spurting sperm into her.

The idea turns my stomach. Every drop of my blood turns to ice, and my heart seems to freeze with defeat.

“Any healthy man could’ve fathered your child, Olivia,” I force the words out, my voice raw.

She narrows her eyes. “Why are you like this? Did something happen?”

“Yes. I just realized I can’t do this.” I look straight ahead, at the Rubedo and the pavé ring. Both look like an unfunny joke nobody asked for. Like me. “I don’t want to be an extra in your life anymore.”

She gasps. “Liam, you aren’t an extra.” She extends a hand toward me.

I evade it and stand. “Yes, I am. Nice to have, but doesn’t matter if it’s missing. There’s somebody else ready to fill the shoes.” Like a pawn on the board you’ve made up your mind about. You’re going to discard it for something better.

Olivia pales, then clenches her hands. “Why are you saying this? You know that’s not true!”

“Do I?” I say it softly and wait a beat. Then two.

She doesn’t say anything.

I should’ve expected this. I walk around her, and then out the door before I suffocate. I can’t breathe while watching her get agitated.

I’m so fucking pathetic. She doesn’t want me but I can’t let go. What the hell is wrong with me?

But I meant every word. I climb behind the wheel and stare at nothing for a moment while I push down the agony burning in my chest.

Olivia rushes out of the house. “Liam!”

Tears soak her cheeks. A need to comfort her slices into me, but I floor the accelerator and speed along the driveway. As much as it hurts, I can’t play an extra in her life and pretend it’s okay anymore. Still leaving her rips a big chunk out of my heart.