Page 23 of The Contract Marriage

We move to the next room. It’s small, with a dark round table just big enough for four. Unlike the conference room, the walls are opaque. Probably a space designed for quick side-meetings between lawyer and client. I pull out a chair for her, and remain standing. Restlessness makes it impossible for me to sit. It’s all I can do to stop myself from pacing.

Olivia looks at me, her eyes unreadable. “Aren’t you going to sit down?” she says finally.

“I’m trying to decide if this is something I can take while sitting down,” I say honestly.

The smooth mask on her face cracks, revealing a hint of anxiety. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about needing a baby at Himeko. It was selfish of me.”

It’s impossible to stay upset when her shoulders droop. I sigh and finally take a seat. We’re close enough that I can smell her shampoo and soap, see the veins and tendons on her delicate neck. “So why didn’t you?”

“I think…” She licks her lips. “I didn’t want to look like a heartless bitch. This isn’t exactly the prettiest picture, and I didn’t want you to think badly of me, I guess.” Her voice grows smaller.

The answer leaves me dazed. I thought this was about a lack of trust in me, not her vulnerability. “Olivia…” I reach over and hold her cool hand. “I’d never think badly of you.”

“I debated with myself about it, about whether you need to know all the ugliness. Married couples have kids, so why bring it up?” She runs a slightly unsteady hand over her temple, then looks at me through her lashes, biting her lip.

She’s flustered. The realization hits me hard, and my heart softens a little. “So why did you decide to tell me?”

“Because you should know what you’re getting into before we sign anything. It’s the least I owe you.”

Not exactly what I’d truly like, but at least she’s being honest with me. That must count for something. “Why the rush to have a baby?” I ask gently, hoping to understand what she really wants and give it to her.

She presses her lips together for a moment, her eyes not meeting mine as she takes her time. A great internal debate seems to rage inside her.

“Olivia, I’m on your side.”

Finally, she heaves a sigh. Stubborn drive and a tinge of regret burn in her eyes as she faces me. “Hugh Desmond has been leeching off my mother’s trust for the last twenty years. And he’s been using that money not just to support himself, but his former-mistress-turned-wife and their illegitimate child.”

“Brielle?”

Olivia nods curtly. “Yeah. Brielle.” She takes a moment. “Anyway… I want to cut them off. To do that, I need to get married…and produce a child. Then the entire Whitmore Trust comes under my control, and Hugh and his family will be out on the streets. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier, because…well, because it changes things. I’ll understand if you don’t want to proceed. Just, please…keep everything confidential, for my sake.”

Underneath her dispassionate tone lie old pain and rage. I recall Brielle’s entitled and obnoxious attitude from college, and then more recently at Kingswood Stones & Designs. What Olivia must have lived through has to be much, much worse than what little I’ve witnessed. “Thanks for telling me. I’d want to do the same in your place.” I take a moment to mull things over. “But at the same time, I wouldn’t want our baby to just be…used, either. Kids require a commitment—and stability, and love…everything.”

She blinks, then flushes. “I wouldn’t just use and discard our child like a tool.”

“There’s more to this than just them not being a tool. I want them to be loved unconditionally, regardless of their role in you securing your family trust.” I briefly drop my eyes to my hands. My children should never know the aching emptiness of realizing that their parents didn’t really value them, especially when they’re Olivia’s children too. Every time I look at them, I’ll see her in them—and that alone will make them more precious than anything else in the world. I raise my eyes, looking straight at her.

She pales a little, her lashes fluttering. Her head dips, although she doesn’t avoid my gaze. “You’re right. I…” A soft sigh. “Guess I didn’t really think it through. I’m not even positive I can be a great mom.” Her lower lip quivers. “So, um… Do you…not want to have children with me?” Her voice grows impossibly small.

I want to put my arm around her and kiss her on the temple. Even if I disagree with how she’s going about family planning, she shouldn’t beat herself up over it. Plus, the fact that she’s thinking about whether she could be a good mother shows she isn’t as detached as she appears.

And I’m not giving up a chance to have a baby with the woman I’ve loved for twelve years.

“Are you kidding? Of course, I do.” She doesn’t love me, but I’ll take this chance to change her mind. “As for the end of the marriage—”

“It’s non-negotiable.”

Her firm tone cuts me.

“I don’t want to trap you, Liam. It wouldn’t be fair to you.” She gazes up at me with clear, expectant eyes, like a person ready to open a door to a cage for the bird to gladly fly away.

“What if it isn’t a trap for me?”

“It’s better this way.” Her gaze is unwavering, but she’s paler than moments ago. “You’re going to get hurt if you stick around for too long.”

Her innocent expression is like poison that isn’t strong enough to rob me of life but painful enough to leave me breathless. “If it’s about the marriage not being about love, I know. I’m not going to get hurt—”

She shakes her head. “It isn’t about that. Can you trust me to keep you safe? At least insofar as I can?”