Page 111 of Make it a Double

I’d seen her angry only a handful of times in my life, but none held a candle to the unbridled anger radiating from her now. If Lukas hadn’t held her back, I swore she would’ve pounced the moment she walked through that door.

“If either of you believe you’ll see a dime of my money after this, you’re sorely mistaken,” our father sneered.

“We don’t need your fucking money,” I muttered.

“Well,” Tate interjected, examining her nails. “While my brother might be okay walking away, I have no problem reminding you that the monthly stipend you send is for my silence. After all, I have my mother’s diaries, and she had some painfully detailed passages about your time together. I’d just hate for those to get leaked to the press, wouldn’t you?”

Our father stared us down, his face growing redder with each passing second. Tate had him by the balls, and we all knew it. She wasn’t one to make idle threats. Especially when it came to him. I was positive that tearing his life to shreds was a key part of every dreamboard she’d ever kept.

“Fuck this town,” he muttered, turning on his heel. Lukas moved Sawyer out of the way as my father stormed past without so much as a second glance. We all waited for the sound of his engine and the peeling of tires before letting out a collective breath.

Sawyer pushed her way into the room, not stopping until she was standing right in front of me with tears in her eyes. Then her arms were around my middle. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t get here sooner,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “I tried calling over and over again, but you weren’t answering. Neither was Tate. When Lukas picked up and told me he’d just left you here, I begged for him to go back, and I—” Her words broke off in a sob. “I’m just so sorry.”

“Hey, hey,” I crooned, pulling her tighter. Tate and Lukas quietly made their way from the room, leaving Sawyer and me alone. “Why’re you apologizing, sugar? None of this is your fault.”

“But if I could’ve gotten here sooner, I could’ve protected you from that. Or at least stood by your side and held your hand.”

I pulled back, cupping her tear-stained face with my hands. I refused to let her believe any of this was her fault, when in reality, it was mine. “Listen to me… There’s nothing you could’ve done that would’ve changed anything that happened here today. I should’ve walked away from my father years ago, but was too scared to cut the cord that bound us together. Now, it’s over. It’s done.”

Her lip trembled as she stared at me. “But you lost everything, Beckett.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, I gained everything. Before coming to this town, I was a shell of a human, Sawyer. I moved through an unfulfilling life, searching for something to give me purpose.” My thumb traced over her freckles, wiping away any trace of her tears, and I couldn’t stop my smile from spreading. “Then I met you and everything changed. I’m not worried about anything. I’ve got money set aside and a small trust from my mother’s parents. We’ll be more than fine.”

She leaned into my touch, turning her head to kiss my palm. “I don’t care about money, Beckett. I’m used to being poor, remember? I just care about you and our baby.”

“That’s all I care about, too.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t know how much you saw, but I should’ve been better at controlling my temper.”

“Oh,” she said. The corner of her lip curled into a shy smirk. “It was about the time you told your father to watch his mouth about the mother of your child. Nice touch, by the way. Very caveman of you.”

“And love of my life,” I added. “Don’t forget that one.”

Sawyer nodded, her smile widening. “That was a good one, too.”

We both looked at the mess spread throughout the room. The crib was half-finished, leaning on one side, while the dresser was still just a pile of parts in the corner. The day might not have gone how either of us expected it to, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret anything. My father was gone, out of my life for good, and I was free. That was all I’d wanted when I showed up in Frank’s Bar two months ago. While that freedom might look a little different than I thought it would, it was the best feeling in the world.

Well, the second-best.

SAWYER

Date: Wednesday, May 19th

38 weeks:

- Get this baby out of me!

“Beckett, I’m going to have you count down from ten, okay? Deep breaths in and out. You’ve got this.” Dr. Adler looked at me from between my knees, which were damn near at my ears, spreading me wide for the whole room to see. I wished she wasn’t so nice because then maybe I wouldn’t feel awful about wanting to punch her in the face. “Push on one, Sawyer.”

I knew labor would be hard, but I felt like it was massively undersold. An epidural was not the magical cure everyone told me it would be, and the constant beeping from all the monitors was starting to stress me out. I understood they were necessary, especially to keep an eye on both mine and the baby’s heart rate given my condition, but I wished they would stop for even a second. How was I supposed to concentrate on pushing a human out of my vagina in these conditions?

I’d spent the past four hours lying on a bed with people constantly poking and prodding me with needles and checking my cervix for dilation. Everyone told me how lucky I was that my body was responding so fast to the induction, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like luck. We’d already been here for nearly eight hours, waiting for the doctor to tell us it was time.

Beckett had been my only saving grace so far. I had no clue how I would’ve done this without him. I knew he was likely panicking, but he held it all together for my own being.

When we left Dr. Adler’s office after she said she wanted to induce me early, he went into overdrive, packing go-bags and spending late nights at the house with Lukas and Duke to finish moving everything in. It’d somehow all come together, and we were going to be able to take our son home after leaving the hospital. The past two weeks had gone by in a blur. None of this felt real. I wanted more time, but we didn’t have it.

“Look at me, sugar,” he whispered, from where he held my leg. I homed in on his worry-filled gaze, knowing how long he’d spent agonizing over this birth. “Squeeze when the doctor tells you, okay? I’m here. I can take it. Give me everything you’ve got.”

“You try giving birth,” I panted, wrapping my fingers around the bed railing. The first tear sprang free as I felt an oncoming contraction. “It’s like needing to take the biggest shit of your life, and it hurts.”