Page 19 of Make it a Double

I asked Duke why he allowed it one day, and he told me he’d rather have him here, where he knew someone would always be able to look out for him, rather than ban him from the bar like every other establishment in a thirty-mile radius had done. “He’s gonna drink regardless. Might as well be somewhere I can keep an eye out for him.”

Duke was just that kind of guy. He’d tried giving Johnny a job, but that failed spectacularly. He even tried to help Johnny get into rehab a time or two, but it never stuck.

Johnny would just show up the next day, and begrudgingly drink the water Duke slid his way.

“Fine. I’m going,” Johnny said, pushing the empty glass toward Duke. “Gerald’s probably missing me anyway.”

Lately, Johnny had been staying with one of our other old, grumpy regulars. They were fast friends, and I think Gerald enjoyed the company more than he let on.

“Tell the old man I said to feel better. I don’t know how to do my job without him barking orders and telling me I don’t know shit about making drinks,” Duke snorted. He took the glass and placed it in the dishwasher before turning it on.

I waited near the exit, watching the exchange with a forced smile, as Johnny trudged to the door. The stench of alcohol hit me like a punch to the gut. I tried my best to breathe through my mouth, but that somehow made it worse. I could practically taste the cheap tequila wafting off him.

“Night, Johnny,” I said, giving him a slight nod. “Get home safe.”

He paused at the threshold, looking like he wanted to say something, but shook his head instead and walked out the door. The moment he was clear, I flipped the lock and turned off the neon ‘Open’ sign in the window.

“That’s a wrap,” I muttered, walking toward the bar. Duke was smiling as he sprayed the lacquered surface with a disinfectant. Saturdays at Frank’s were always hectic. Tonight was no exception. But this one had kicked my ass.

It’d taken every bit of energy I could muster to give the patrons a smile that never met my eyes, or not gag at the scent of straight liquor every single time someone asked for a shot.

“You good?” Duke asked, watching me carefully as I sank onto one of the leather stools.

I reached up and unfastened the claw clip holding my hair in place, running my fingers through the tangled tresses. “I’m just tired. Haven’t been sleeping well.”

It wasn’t a lie. Not entirely.

The part I failed to mention was how my sleeping schedule had been shit since I called his wife to pick me up after my first and only one-night stand over two months ago. No matter how hard I tried to get it out of my mind, it always came back, forcing me to relive one of the greatest nights of my life, knowing I’d never experience anything like it again.

Was I being dramatic? Sure. But I’d earned it.

Looking back, the whole situation had been a terrible idea. I knew what a hopeless romantic I was. Knew how hard it would hurt when I walked away and he didn’t try to follow. It would’ve been for the best if I’d kept to myself and never found out what it was like to be kissed within an inch of my life. Maybe then I wouldn’t be replaying it every night with my hand between my thighs and could get some actual sleep instead.

But it was too late for that.

My best bet now was to put my crush to rest for good and get back to being the wallflower of Pinecrest—watching everyone else get their happy ending.

“You look a little pale,” Duke murmured, coming to a stop in front of me. “When’s the last time you ate something?”

I cringed, knowing my answer was going to earn me a severe look of disappointment. “Oh. Um, I ate a protein bar earlier.”

Duke crossed his arms. “What’s that mean?”

Instead of answering him immediately, I ran my finger along the woodgrain pattern on the bar. “You know… Earlier.”

“Sawyer—”

“Uh oh. What’d she do?”

Duke and I glanced toward the back of the bar where Olivia had just strode in. She was wearing one of the new t-shirts they had designed for Frank’s brand refresh. A cowgirl in a martini glass winked at me as Olivia came to a stop beside her husband. I gathered the shirt must have been his because it damn near swallowed her.

He smiled, giving her a once-over before leaning in for a chaste kiss. I should’ve looked away, but I couldn’t. Not when I could see every ounce of love he felt for her shining in his eyes. “I asked Sawyer when she ate, and she said earlier.”

Olivia’s smile dropped as she turned to me. Had I said Duke’s disappointment was worse? I lied. His wife’s put him to shame. “So, you haven’t eaten since you left your house this morning?”

It hadn’t been intentional, but today was busy. On the weekends, I volunteered with my grandma at the assisted living home where most of her friends lived. Somehow, she’d roped me into helping tend the community garden they were planting which is where I’d spent nearly every Saturday morning for the past few months.

By the time I dropped her back at the house, it was nearly time for my shift at Frank’s. We ran out of lunch meat for sandwiches yesterday. My check hadn’t hit the bank yet, so the grocery store was out of the question. It was a little hard to pack a lunch with an empty fridge.