Page 72 of Make it a Double

Well, fuck. There went any argument I intended to make. In one fell swoop, Beckett had torn apart the last of my defenses, leaving me vulnerable to his sweet words and stupid, handsome face. How could I say no when he said things like that? When he touched me with nothing short of reverence and awe?

Without overthinking, I reached up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. He followed my lead as I deepened it, never asking for more than I was willing to give. We hadn’t kissed since I showed him the truth about me, which was a feat considering I’d thought about it every day. And it wasn’t even just about hormonal urges or scratching an itch. I fought the urge to kiss him when he picked me up and dropped me off, or when he brought me lunch because I forgot to pack one. Don’t even get me started on how hard it was not to press kisses down his back when he stood at the stove to cook me dinner or wash dishes.

I didn’t need Beckett, but I wanted him. And wanting someone like this on such a visceral level was terrifying. It was dangerous. It tripped alarms, setting off warning bells and red flashing lights that I couldn’t turn off no matter how hard I tried.

It felt a lot like falling in love.

Not that I knew anything about that, of course. I’d never had a boyfriend, unless you counted the boy I dated in Kindergarten for a few days. Everything I learned about romance came from books, movies, or watching Duke and Olivia fall for one another in spite of their differences. I knew I could talk to Liv about what I was feeling, but that would make it feel all too real.

It was too early to love Beckett. We’d only known each other a month, and our time together hadn’t been smooth until recently. What did I really even know about him, other than he came from more money than I could ever dream of?

He’s selfless. Patient. Kind. Giving. Ready and willing to make up for the time he lost because you were too scared to reach out.

My mind wasn’t always nice to me, but it was right every now and then.

I pulled back, staring up into Beckett’s molten, chocolate gaze. He made no effort to move, watching me carefully for any sign I was about to bolt or throw something at his head. If he thought that was what I needed, he would’ve let me.

He would’ve given me anything I asked for.

“Thank you,” I whispered. My hand dropped from his neck and wrapped around his waist. “It’s so thoughtful. I’m just… I’m not good at this.” He pulled me in for a hug, letting his cheek rest against the top of my head.

It was awkward given the sudden emergence of my bump. Over the past few weeks, my body had changed drastically. Baby boy refused to be hidden behind baggy T-Shirts and loose-fitting dresses, leaving me feeling more than a little worse for wear. Beckett, though, loved the changes. He’d grown obsessed with my stomach, always pressing a gentle hand to the swell whenever he passed. I was slightly uncomfortable with all the attention at first, but now it was comforting.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be. I know this is a lot. It’s so much more than you bargained for,” he murmured against my hair. “But please know I’m not doing any of this to make you uneasy. You and our son deserve the best I have to give. I’m just trying to do right by both of you.”

How was I not meant to fall in love when he said things like that? And even more confusing was that I believed him without question. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind when it came to the lengths Beckett would go to in order to give this baby and me the best life possible.

I nodded, offering a weak smile as we stepped apart. With one hand on my lower back, he helped me down the stairs, careful of the broken step. We walked toward the vehicle glistening in the early morning sun. It really was gorgeous. Somehow, everything I would’ve picked out if I had a hand in the purchase myself, which really shouldn’t have surprised me in the slightest. Beckett paid attention more than most. He asked me questions about what I liked or wanted. If he saw me reaching for a food more than once, suddenly I had more of that item than anything else.

“Like I said, if you don’t like it⁠—”

I shook my head. “No, I do. I think that’s what made me so mad,” I answered honestly. “If I didn’t, it would be easier to tell you to take it back.”

Beckett perked up. He was so goddamn eager, there was no way I could stay mad at him. “So, I did good?”

“You did good,” I laughed. “Oh my god. I can’t believe you bought me a car. This is insane.”

He opened the door, helping me inside. I died when I slid my hand against the smooth leather surface.I inhaled deeply and savored the new car smell surrounding me, even though it wouldn’t last long, especially not with a newborn. I’d never even been in anything so nice before, and I’d certainly never owned anything like it.

Beckett walked around, pulling the bow from the hood and placing it in the backseat before sitting behind the wheel. Warm air blew from the vents as he started the car. “God, that’s nice,” I laughed. “I’m excited to have heat again.” Instead of scolding me, he reached for the console and pressed a button. Before I could ask what it was for, the leather beneath me heated up.

Yeah, there was no way I was going to give this up.

“You should’ve led with seat warmers,” I said, sinking back into the seat. “It would’ve saved you an argument.”

“But then I wouldn’t have gotten a kiss.” He smiled, looking back over his shoulder as he pulled out of my Gram’s driveway. “And that alone was worth any pushback you may have given.”

Beckett put the car in gear and slowly drove out of the trailer park. The radio played lightly in the background as we drove through town, passing a century’s worth of history on Main Street. He hummed to the tune, occasionally drumming his fingers to the beat as we left the city limits.

The man sitting beside me was different from the one who showed up at Frank’s a month ago. He was more like the man I got to know while eating fried food at a small town fair. The changes weren’t physical, yet they were reflected back in each subtle smile and twinkle of his eyes. I knew very little of what his life in New York was like, but being here seemed to make him happier. Each move he made was with purpose, and that purpose seemed to revolve around our son and me.

I reached over and grabbed his hand, bringing it to my lap and intertwining our fingers. He glanced curiously at me from the corner of his eye but made no move to move. “Everything okay?”

I rolled my head against the seat to face him. “I’m just really happy right now.”

It was such an understatement, but it was all I could think of. I was happy. Truly happy for the first time in months. Most of my pregnancy had been spent thinking I’d have to do this alone. Liv was there to help where she could, but there was no way she could be everything I needed. She had her own family that needed her.

But things didn’t feel so heavy with Beckett at my side. He would carry the weight of the world if it meant keeping it off my shoulders.