Page 74 of Make it a Double

His slightly upturned nose and those dimples were all his mother. The way he scrunched his face as the wand pressed into his mom’s belly, too. Apparently, her sass was genetic.

But I saw parts of me, too.

There weren’t many photos of me as a child, let alone a baby, but I remembered the one my mom used to keep in her wallet when I was growing up. We both had chubby cheeks and long fingers. And his feet! My god. They were massive.

Sawyer squeezed my hand, and I tore my gaze from the screen. I didn’t even realize I was crying until she reached up and wiped away a tear. “I’m sorry,” I laughed, blinking away any that remained. “It’s so surreal.”

There were tears in her own eyes as she said, “That’s our son.”

Our. Son.

Two words had never sounded so sweet. It hadn’t been lost on me that Sawyer had never uttered them in my presence, but hearing them now was worth the wait. There were a million things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get them out. As I stared down into her deep green eyes, I couldn’t help but hope and pray our little boy took after his mom.

Without thinking, I leaned down and kissed her, hoping she felt everything I couldn’t say. It might not have been the right thing to do, and Sawyer might kick my ass later for the public display, but it didn’t deter me. I had to let her know how much this moment meant to me.

“Your little boy looks healthy,” the sonographer said, wiping Sawyer’s belly clean. “He’s grown so much since last time.”

Sawyer sniffed and reached for the waistband of her jeans to pull them back over her belly. “Tell me about it. I feel everything in there now. He’s a little wiggle worm, always jabbing me in the ribs to try and make more room.”

“That never changes, even after they’re born,” the sonographer laughed, reaching for something off the printer. “I’ve got three little ones at home, and they’re constantly crawling all over me. I rarely make it through a day unscathed.”

“Fantastic,” Sawyer deadpanned. “I can’t wait.”

“You get used to it.” The tech handed over two long strips of film. “I’ll let the doctor know I’m finished here. She should be in shortly.”

I looked down at the images in my hand as Sawyer pulled her shirt down. It was crazy to love someone you’d never met before, but my heart swelled in my chest as I stared at my son’s face. If I felt like this after looking at a picture, what would it be like to see him in person? To hear his screams after he sucked in his first breath? Or opened his eyes and took a look at the world around him?

“He’s perfect, you know,” I said, handing the other strip of photos to her when she settled in.

“Of course he is,” she murmured, curling her lips into a smile. “He’s ours.”

Wasn’t that the truth? I imagined most parents followed that train of thought, but it felt different with Sawyer. With her admitting it.

I never considered myself a sentimental person. There was no box of knick-knacks from my childhood that I couldn’t bring myself to part with, or scrapbook filled with memories. But that had all changed when I met Sawyer. Suddenly, I was keeping cheap frozen corn dogs on hand and missing the fresh scent of cherries.

“I know this hasn’t been easy. And I’m sure it hasn’t gone the way either of us imagined, but,” I paused, looking down at my feet. Staring at her while I admitted this felt like too much. We’d already blurred so many lines today. I didn’t want to push my luck, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I’m honored that I have the privilege of doing this with you. Kids were never in my cards. I didn’t want to have them just for the sake of it, and not be able to give them every part of me they deserved.”

Her hand found mine, intertwining our fingers, and I finally felt brave enough to look up. “It’s definitely unconventional,” she said slowly. “But I agree. There’s no one else I’d rather do this with, Beckett. No one else I’d trust.”

Hearing that I’d earned her trust, that she found me worthy of this journey we were on, was everything I didn’t know I needed. Sawyer was more guarded than most. She didn’t let people in easily. The fact that she let me prove how committed I was not only to this baby but to her as well was all that I could ask for.

The door opened, and the doctor walked in, giving us both a polite smile. She took the seat in front of us, nodding at Sawyer. “Ms. Sutton. Wonderful to see you. I take it this is Dad?” She extended her hand. “I’m Dr. Adler. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Beckett Montgomery,” I said, beaming with pride at being called ‘Dad.’ “I’m excited to be here.”

Dr. Adler turned toward Sawyer. “How’re you feeling? We’re in the home stretch now.”

Sawyer laughed, placing a hand on her stomach. “Well, I’ve been a bit more tired lately, but that’s to be expected according to all the baby blogs I’ve read. And he encountered a bit of a growth spurt over the past month.”

“I see that,” the doctor murmured, checking Sawyer’s chart. “You’ve gained about twelve pounds over the past 6 weeks, which is slightly on the higher side. I’m not too concerned, given how little you gained earlier on, but it is something I’d like to keep an eye on. Have you noticed any other symptoms or complications?”

“Uh, no. Not really,” Sawyer said nervously. “My appetite is back to normal. Although I may need to stop giving in to those late-night cookie cravings.”

“What about any changes in vision? Headaches?”

I wasn’t sure if this was routine questioning, but it left me feeling uneasy. Like she was searching for the answer to something she already had the answer to.

“Not really,” Sawyer said.