Page 55 of Playing It Forward

I drop my forehead to the table. “He’s going to know. And I didn’t tell him.”

Nolan reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “He knows you’re an adult. He knows you have sex. Everything will be fine.”

I lift my head to glare at him. “Easy for you to say. You won’t have to suffer his disappointment in you.”

He sighs. “I know a bit about disappointing a parent.”

My brow wrinkles. “You do? You’re the perfect son. You have this great career. You make tons of money. The Seals are favored to reach the Super Bowl this season. How have you ever disappointed your parents?”

His blue eyes cloud with pain as he drums his fingers on the table. I want to tell him it’s okay. He doesn’t have to tell me about his past. But he’s the one pressuring me to allow him to meet my dad. He’s the one who wouldn’t let me go to the hospital alone.

I’m not backing down. He can tell me if he’s uncomfortable revealing the story. I’m not giving him an out.

“Do you know who my dad is?” he asks after several long moments.

I blink. “Your dad? Why would I know your dad?”

“Please don’t let him hear you say that. He’ll lose his mind.”

“Okay. I’ll pretend I know who he is when I meet him.”

“If you meet him.”

“Are you serious?” I shout. “You insist on meeting my dad, but your dad is off limits? What the pirate?”

He holds up his hands. “Don’t get upset, sprite. Think of the baby.”

My nostrils flare. “Think of your balls and whether you want to keep them.”

He grimaces. “Sorry, let me explain. My dad isn’t a good guy. He was a crap dad. I don’t know if I want to expose our little mermaid to him.”

I gulp and force myself to ask the hard question. “Did your dad abuse you?”

“Nothing that bad. Dad was a football player. He was never around when I was a kid. Even when his team played at home, he wasn’t there. He had an apartment near the stadium and he stayed there during the season.”

I rear back. “What the hell? Did you live in another city?”

“Nope. We lived in the same city, but Dad was afraid he’d lose focus if he spent time with us during the season.”

“That’s messed up. But you saw him off-season?”

“Hardly. He was always off doing whatever the hell he was doing. Mostly working out eight hours a day. He never helped Mom with the house or us kids. The only thing he did was give her money and knock her up.”

I squeeze his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Your poor mother. It must have been difficult for her.”

“It was.” He meets my gaze. “You need to know I’m not my father. I won’t always be around for our little mermaid because of my job. But I won’t abandon you. I won’t force you to raise our baby all by yourself. I’ll be here in the off-season and as often as I can during the season. I’ll be here.”

“I believe you’ll do the best you can.”

But I don’t know if the best he can is good enough. I want my child to have everything I didn’t have. A mother who isn’t checked out. And a father who’s present. Is it so much to ask?

“Good. Now my mother, on the other hand, is going to be ecstatic to have a grandchild.”

“Is it her first?”