Page 6 of For Every Letter

It’s good you realize I was right about your parents, since I’m right pretty much all the time. 😉 But seriously, talk to them and let me know how it goes. I’m always here to listen.

Thank you for explaining about the mermaids. I was worried I needed to call someone and get your medication changed. Smuggler’s Hideaway sounds like a blast. I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. It wasn’t nearly as fun as

Smuggler’s Hideaway sounds. Although Lake Michigan in the summer is awesome. I love the water. But don’t tell my squad. They’ll make fun of me for being a squid wannabe.

I have patrol in fifteen minutes, so I’m off.

Take care,

Ben

PS. Enclosed is a picture of me. Same rules apply. No making fun.

11

Mermaid Motel

Smuggler’s Hideaway

February 1 st

Hi Ben,

Of course, this pen pal by mistake isn’t such a bad thing. It’s an awesome thing! You’re lucky you’ve had a chance to get to know me. Because I’m awesome, in case you haven’t noticed. Repeat after me: Sadie is awesome. Sadie is awesome. Sadie is awesome.

You’re welcome for the care package. I was happy to pop your ‘care package cherry’. If any other cherries need popping, let me know. Oh my smuggler. That sounded super corny and probably a bit inappropriate. I meant more if you want me to send you stuff. My face is red enough to serve as the lighthouse that we decommissioned in the 90s right now.

Moving on….

Thanks for your picture. Like, seriously. A gazillion times, thanks. Because holy mermaids swimming in the overheated sea! Not bad, soldier. Not bad. But seriously – is this really you? Come on. You can tell your pen pal anything. Including if you are using a stock image of a soldier because you have a hairy mole on your nose and don’t want me to see it. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.

But if the mermaids have gifted me and this picture is really you, let me know if you ever need a fake date, fake fiancé or fake wife. I’m up for the task of walking next to the hottie military dude. And if you want to erase the word fake from the above, I’m willing to try anything once.

How long until you re-up? I’ve been doing some googling on military terms. How did I do? If you don’t want to extend, I found a job for you here in Smuggler’s Hideaway. How do you feel about parrots? I’ve included a classified ad for a job as a parrot keeper.

We take our mascots very seriously on Smuggler’s Hideaway. You’d be responsible for making sure Plank doesn’t get stolen from anyone during the summer when it’s ‘steal the mascot’-season. I figure as a soldier you’d be perfect for the job.

And I’d be there with you providing snacks and keeping you entertained while you stood guard over a foul-mouthed parrot. Plank’s really not as bad as the ad makes him out to be.

Hold on. Be right back.

Okay. I’m back again. Sorry I had to duck out. Everyone on the island seems to know I’ve been writing someone and now they’re betting on how much I blush and smile while writing you. Confession – it might be a lot. I can’t help it. Getting a letter from you makes me smile. So, sue me. Or don’t. Since I’m broke.

Stay safe hottie soldier boy,

Sadie

12

Sandbox

February 15 th

Dear Sadie,

I’m excited you’re the person who popped my care package cherry. I’d be happy for you to pop more of my cherries, but I don’t think at thirty years old, I have any left. Unless you count getting shot in the ass. And I do not want that particular cherry popped.

(My buddy just got shot in the ass if you’re wondering why I’m fixating on ass shots. Don’t worry. I’m safe. It was his own damn fault. And, no, I can’t tell you any details. I’ve been sworn to secrecy.)