Page 44 of Liquids

After we finish the bottle of wine, Marni persuades some guy to buy us another one, and we’re reeling by the time we leave the bar.

It’s a shorter walk to my place, and I’ve been on my own since Rig left, and I keep wandering from room to room like an idiot as if I’m looking for something that’s missing. I dream about his endlessly wide shoulders in my shower, and curling into him in bed. Dammit, I need some company, and fuck, maybe it’s no bad thing to have someone with me in the apartment. Safety in numbers and all that.

“Come and crash at my place,” I say to Marni.

She can hardly stand, and I’m not much better, but between us we lurch our way home. It takes forever to climb up the iron staircase because we both have to keep sitting down. Once we’re in, she staggers into my bedroom and collapses face down on the comforter. I manage to take her shoes off and get her legs straight on Rig’s side of the bed and I cover her with a blanket. Then I stumble around, digging out the T-shirt of Rig’s I stole without him noticing, and slide under the covers. And I’m no longer angry or even sad; the wine has washed it all away. I just need to stay away from him and not get sucked in again. It’s not like that’ll be hard given he’s away working on the rigs most of the time.

15

RUNNING DRY

Marni’s scowling when I slide into our booth the next night, and I eye her warily. I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to provide a sympathetic ear to any of her drama tonight.

“You okay?” I say.

“Got news,” she says.

“More fights?”

She shakes her head. “Rig was engaged to that Sadie woman who turned up on your doorstep.”

When she appeared with her blonde hair, designer gear, and tiny ass, I could see why he’d made an exception for her. She wasn’t bottom of the heap, was she?

I pick at the label on my beer. “Did you find out any more about her?”

“Like what?”

“Who ended it and why?”

“No idea. Couldn’t ferret out anything except that he was engaged to her.”

“He told me getting engaged was his biggest regret.”

She gapes at me. “You knew they were engaged?”

I make a face. “I didn’t know it was her for sure, but he said he’d had one long-term relationship and it was with her, so stands to reason she was the one he was engaged to. When he said he regretted it, he also said, ‘Don’t ask.’”

“God. Men,” she grumbles. “Why don’t they ever give you a straight answer?”

Her eyes flick up as the door opens and a sly smile curls over her lips. She taps my hand. “Here’s your opportunity to find out more, hon.”

I swing around, and my mouth drops open. Rig is prowling toward our table. What the fuck is he doing here? But when I turn back, Marni is already out of the booth, and she gives me a little wave as she heads over to the bar and starts chatting to some guy. There goes my plan of staying away from him. Rig slides in opposite me, raising one finger at the bartender for a beer. I take in his huge shoulders and plaid flannel shirt over a faded tee and sigh. He looks amazing, goddamn him.

“Where did you spring from?”

His hands are covered in scrapes and bits of tape. It reminds me of the first time I met him, though I think I can read him better now. As I study him, the righteous indignation from yesterday has lost its edge. He told me right at the start that he wasn’t looking for anything permanent. Did he lie a bit about not doing relationships? Yeah, but it’s not the biggest crime in the world, and he was probably just sparing my feelings. He called me his girl, but he told me not to read too much into it. I’m the one that assumed things here. He didn’t want a relationship with me, and that’s okay. I just latched on to the fact that he’s a good guy.

“Decided I needed to come back and have a little chat with several people after you called me,” he says.

“How long are you back for?”

“Three or four days.”

“You weren’t behind some bottle of wine we got gifted, were you?”

He shakes his head, eyes studying me. “How you doing after those dickheads visited you?”

“Marni was a bit shaken up, and I’ve got a dent in my fridge.”