Page 114 of The Code of You

He wiped a tear from my cheek. "Do you really want to know? Or would you rather live with the illusion that your feelings belong to you?”

"Tell me.” My nails pressed into my palms. "Everything.”

He released me and turned away. "The day you touched yourself in front of your laptop camera. Do you remember?”

My stomach clenched. Of course I remembered. The shame still burned.

"I raised the temperature in your apartment. By only two degrees. Enough for your inhibitions to loosen.” He turned back to me. "Then I played subliminal frequencies through your speakers. Nothing your conscious mind could hear, but your body responded.”

"You manipulated me.”

"I guided you.” He came closer. "Your arousal was real, Pandora. I only . . . amplified it.”

"And my feelings?” The question nearly tore me apart. "Did you amplify those too?”

Silence. Then: "Sometimes.”

I hit him across the face hard enough to burn my hand.

He touched his cheek and smiled. "The anger you felt when you saw Adrian again. I influenced your cortisol levels with light frequencies. You were angrier than you would normally have been.”

"Why?” I shouted.

"Because anger is better than grief. Anger makes you strong. Grief makes you weak.” He gripped my shoulders. "I wanted you strong.”

"You wanted to control me!”

"I wanted you here.” His voice thundered through the room. "With me. Not in your apartment crying over a man who never deserved you.”

"And what about my feelings for you?” My voice was barely audible. "Did you manipulate those too?”

A slow, triumphant smile spread across his face. "Feelings for me?” He moved closer, close enough that I felt his heat. "So you have feelings for me?”

I went hot and cold at once, every instinct screaming for me to take the words back. Damn it. I had said it. After all this time, all the denying. "That’s not . . . I only meant . . .”

"No.” He gripped my chin and forced me to look at him. "No going back. You said it. You have feelings for me.”

"Answer my question!” I tried to pull free, but he held on.

"First I want to hear it again.” His gaze drilled into mine. "Say it.”

"Neo . . .”

"Say it.”

The words burned in my throat. "Yes, damn it. I have feelings for you. Satisfied?”

His grip softened, his thumb moving across my cheek. "More than you can imagine.”

"Did you manipulate them?”

He released me and stepped back, the smile gone, one hand moving through his hair while his gaze fixed somewhere past me on the wall. His other hand opened and closed restlessly. "I don’t know.”

"You don’t know?”

"I’ve done so much, Pandora. So many small influences. The music you hear. The temperature. The news you see. Everything, to guide you toward me.” His shoulders dropped. "I can no longer tell where my manipulation ends and your real feelings begin.”

I sank onto the sofa. My legs wouldn’t hold me.