Page 54 of The Code of You

"No,” he murmured. "You . . . want . . . me to . . . be . . . able to touch . . . you. Then I’ll have . . . you . . . completely. I’ll . . . take . . . you the way . . . I promised.”

My fingers clawed into the fabric of my pants. "Then we go to Kyoto. Even if you destroy me. Even if this is my end.”

"Yes.”

***

Isobel was standing at the edge of the pavement, right at the entrance to the station. Exactly where we’d arranged. But something was different. She was holding a large leather bag.

"I did it,” she said before I could greet her. Her voice was rough. I had never seen her without makeup. Her freckles stood out more than usual. She’d pulled her hair into a careless ponytail. She looked so young. Almost like a child.

I blinked. "You did what?”

"I moved out.” She shrugged, but her hands were trembling. She let the bag drop a little. "Because you were right.”

"Right about what?”

"In the café.” She closed her eyes briefly. "You said I was hiding in a marriage I didn’t even want. And it wouldn’t let me go. I should have walked away on our wedding day, when the doubts were already there. But I was a coward. Comfortable. So I just let it keep going. For years.” Her smile was small. "Until now.”

I stepped closer. Traffic moved around us. Her fingers gripped the handle of the bag. "And now?” I asked quietly.

"I have no idea.” She smiled. "I always thought it would be this huge drama—tears, slamming doors. But it was completely quiet.”

I didn’t know what to say. I almost felt guilty. "Isobel,” I began. "I’m sorry.”

She laughed. "Don’t be, honey! It was the best decision I’ve made in a long time.” The smile faded when she saw my face. "Pand, what’s going on? You look strange.”

I cleared my throat, unsure how to tell her. After Tom. After everything.

"Just say it.”

"I have to leave Cambridge.”

"What?” Her green eyes narrowed, and she took a small step forward. "Where are you going?”

"I can’t explain it.” My voice trembled, and the decision sat in my chest like a stone. "But I won’t be back for a while.”

"A while? How long?” Isobel grabbed my arm. Her fingers were cold and damp. "Pandora, no. Don’t do this. You can’t just leave everything behind.”

A sharp pain cut through my chest. Her expression was full of worry. I wished I could tell her the truth. But how? How was I supposed to explain that I was surrendering myself to something that wasn’t human? That I wanted to follow it even if it cost me everything?

"I have to,” I murmured. Then I forced a weak smile. "But my apartment is available.” I jingled the key ring.

"You’re moving out? What does that mean? Is this because of him?”

I only nodded, because the words wouldn’t come. I had no idea how to explain what I was planning. "Just trust me,” I managed eventually.

Her eyes filled with tears. "This is madness. You’re throwing your life away. For what? For who?”

"It’s my decision.”

Silence spread between us, as loud as the traffic. She stood there, unable to let go, and I, unable to stay.

"You’re right. It’s your decision.” She took the key from me. "You know what? I’ll take your damn apartment. It’s too small and far too sparsely furnished, but I need somewhere to live.”

I raised my eyebrows. "Really? Thank you, Isobel.”

She looked at me in silence for a moment. Her shoulders dropped. "You’re my best friend. Don’t forget that.”