Page 14 of Housesitter

“Sure I’m not related to them?” Kel asked.

“I didn’t say our family made good ones,” Ruby said. “Just that ours involve more pregnancy scares and fewer death notices.”

“At least Dad’s do,” Kel remarked as he stripped his overalls down his legs. He tried to balance on one leg to pull them off over his boots. The dull scrape of pain that twisted through his knee reminded him that was a bad idea. He leaned back against the car instead as he yanked them off. “Luckily, not something I have to worry about, since I do have a date tonight.”

Ruby groaned and rubbed her eyes. “Kel, is this the time?” she asked. “You aren’t smart enough to juggle fucking two things up at once.”

Kel tossed his overalls at a worktable. “You’re my grandmother,” he said. “You’re supposed to think I’m a catch.”

That made her laugh. “Sure,” she said. “You, me, and carp. We’re the catch of the day.”

“I could make some man very happy,” Kel protested. He tried to keep a straight face, but his smirk got away from him. “At least, for a night.”

“I’ve dated a lot of men,” Ruby told him. “They all think that, but at best it’s fairly happy.”

“Yeah, that’s good enough. And it’s not just for fun. It’s with the housesitter, who currently holds the keys to the kingdom,” Kel told her. He stuck one hand in the pocket of his jeans and cocked an eyebrow at her. “Well? Do I look like a viable heir to the Madden fortune or just fuckable?”

Ruby tched at him. “If you can’t pull off both,” she said. “I’ve failed you as a grandmother.”

He laughed and headed out.

“Your ass is wet,” she yelled after him.

It was. Kel supposed that was an object lesson in dreaming about what-ifs in a wrecked car that had been pulled out of the lake. He wasn’t going to admit that to Ruby, though, so he just tossed a wave over his shoulder as he ducked under the half-open garage doors.

“It’ll dry.”

“Caramel mochaccino ,” Emily said with a sickly-sweet smile as she slammed the mug down in front of Kel. “Choke on it.”

Shepherd didn’t laugh, but his mouth twitched with amusement at the delivery. Emily turned her back on Kel and gave Shepherd his coffee.

“And a flat white for you,” she said, and then leaned in to add. “You can do better. You should know that.”

She straightened up and stepped back to give them both a blandly expectant look.

“Is there anything else I can get you?”

Kel wiped coffee off his legs with a napkin and glared at her. He was about to growl out a ‘no’ when Shepherd interrupted him.

“What sort of pie do you have?” Shepherd asked.

To be honest, it worked better than the snarl. Instead of being able to flounce off, Em had to do her job. She looked annoyed about that. Kel settled back in his chair, one arm hooked over the back to enjoy the show.

She took a deep breath. “We have stack pie, water pie, shoofly pie…”

There were a lot of pies. Shepherd looked rapt. It was weird, but Kel was actually enjoying that more than he was annoying Emily.

The final call was two slices of Marlborough pie—one black sesame, one chamomile—and the culinary history lesson from Emily came free of charge.

Emily wrote the order down, took a second to give Kel a dirty look, and left.

“What if I don’t like Marlborough pie?” Kel asked.

Shepherd paused with his coffee half-lifted to take a drink. He cocked an eyebrow.

“The second slice isn’t for you,” he said. “It’s for Shithead.”

Kel stared at him.