Page 34 of Housesitter

Cock mostly.

Also, Kel wasn’t going to have him ritually sacrificed in order to hollow his body out to use as a human fleshlight in the mortal realm. Probably.

Mostly the cock, though, if Shepherd was being honest.

Shepherd let the dismissive thought roll through his mind. Even after all these years, it felt a little like blasphemy, but it worked better than trying to push the idea under the rug. His doubts had a point.

There was a certain irony to escaping demonic servitude, only to find out a few days into freedom that it was really the only thing you were cut out for. Shepherd couldn’t deny that just because these days he got a paycheck instead of murdered.

Really, when he laid it out like that, working for Renfield’s was a lot different than the cult.

Shepherd squirmed from under Kel’s knees and lowered his feet to the ground. He ran his hands up Kel’s thighs, tracing the bundles of taut muscle with his fingers, until he reached his groin. His spread hands, thumbs slotted into the crease of Kel’s thighs, framed the heavy balls and cock.

Shadows hung dense and oppressive in the corners of the kitchen, crawling down the walls like grease stains. Upstairs—in the attic—something creaked and sluffed along between the rafters.

“What was that?” Kel asked raggedly as he propped himself up on his elbow, the skin over his stomach creased. He looked up, and the shadows crawled into his field of vision, squirming for attention like a dog. It made Kel blink and scrub his knuckles over his eyes.

“I could tell you,” Shepherd said. He put his hand on Kel’s stomach and pushed. “Or I can finish this. I can’t do both.”

Kel took a ragged breath, chest swelling. He glanced at the shadows, shuddered, and flopped back onto the table.

“Fuck it,” he said. “I’m only on the hook to help with the lawn mower.”

That might not be…entirely accurate. Shepherd figured that news would probably go down better after an orgasm, though. He slid his hands back down into place and leaned in to take Kel’s cock in his mouth. There was still an aftertaste of vaguely strawberry lube and Shepherd on the shaft. He savored the taste as he ran his tongue along the rigid length of it.

Kel moaned encouragement as he arched his hips up, thrusting his cock deeper into Shepherd’s mouth. He clenched the sides of the table, nails dug down into the wood, and something under the floorboards groaned low and broken and wet in rhythm with the ‘Gods’ and ‘pleases’ that escaped Kel’s mouth.

By the time he came, Kel was slick with sweat, his clothes tangled and knotted under him, and the shadows had crawled down off the walls to shackle Shepherd’s ankle. The possibilities gnawed the corners of Shepherd’s mind, but that way madness and a complete failure to stay on schedule lay.

Shepherd swallowed the mouthful of Kel and licked his lips. As Kel sprawled back on the wooden surface of the table, one arm thrown across his eyes, the shadows grudgingly returned to their place.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Kel said, his voice breathy and ragged. He lifted his arm enough to look at Shepherd from under it. “Kinda worries me that means things could still get weirder.”

Shepherd used the corner of the table to pull himself to his feet. He stood on one foot and then the other as he brushed his knees off.

“That’s…fair,” Shepherd acknowledged. He offered his hand to Kel, palm up and fingers loose. “But the weird is happening either way.”

Kel sighed, slapped his hand against Shepherd’s, and allowed himself to be hauled up into a sitting position. He absently rubbed his knees with the heel of his hand.

“OK,” he said. “But I’m still kinda drunk, so how about we break another of your rules, and I get to stay the night?”

Shepherd hesitated, but…

At this point he wasn’t entirely sure he would be able to throw Kel out, even if he wanted to. He gave in with a sigh and leaned into the tug that got Kel onto his feet.

“You might regret that tomorrow,” he warned.

Kel didn’t listen. No one ever did.

“SON-OF-A-BITCH!”

The startled shriek—and getting kicked in the thigh—woke Shepherd up. He squinted one eye open just in time to see Shithead get chucked across the room. Then Kel threw the sheet over Shepherd’s head as he scrambled out of the bed.

“What the hell!” Kel blurted.

Shepherd dragged the sheets down and sat up. He yawned and stretched his shoulders as Kel shuddered and scrubbed his hands down his chest. Shithead had bounced off the standing mirror in the corner of the room and landed at the foot of it. In the reflection, something vile smeared a red smile over the doll’s face that showed a hint of white teeth.

Then the mirror jolted forward, wobbled on its edge, and fell flat on top of the doll. The bladder in it that used to say ‘mama’ made a dry, ‘meh’ noise as it was compressed.