Page 69 of Housesitter

“Is closing the gate an option?” he asked as he followed Shepherd around the pit. He huffed indignantly as he asked, “Why has no one done that before?”

“They did,” Shepherd said. He found Easy’s clothes neatly folded and tucked out of the way against a wall and went through them. “That’s the gig. That’s what the keeper does: opens and closes the gate. It keeps the residents in, and the drafts out.”

“So Easy is fighting for his life to be Hell’s doorman?” Kel asked, as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

A distant, “...at least I don’t live with my grandmother!’ echoed up spitefully from the pit.

Kel gave it the finger without looking around.

“So what now?” Kel asked. “How do we close…”

He trailed off as Shepherd, contract in hand, looked up at him and gave a rueful shrug.

Oh.

Kel took a deep breath and let it out. “You have to sacrifice me?” he said.

“Close,” Shepherd said. “But no cigar.”

He stood up and took a deep breath. The smile that twisted his mouth was strained as he reached up to touch Kel’s split lip.

“I’d have broken your heart anyhow,” he said. “At least this way I don’t have to live with that.”

He ducked under Kel’s attempt to grab him and headed toward the pit. Kel cursed and scrambled after him, grabbing his shoulder to pull him back.

“Hold on. Hang on. What the hell happened to you not being a suitable sacrifice?”

“Easy couldn’t sacrifice me,” Shepherd said. “Neither could you, but no one can stop me from sacrificing myself.”

“I can,” Kel said. “Fuck it. Let Easy crawl out. By the time he gets his fat ass up here, we could be on the road out of town.”

“Everyone will die,” Shepherd said.

“Fuck ‘em,” Kel said with a shrug. “What did they ever do for me?”

“Whatever you asked,” Shepherd reminded him. “That left a stain on their soul. Anyone you used the ‘smoke’ on, they’ll go to Hell. You really OK with that?”

Yes.

No.

Kel thought of Ruby as she choked on the compulsion Easy had put on her, of the fact that Harry hadn’t even known enough to be scared as Kel rewrote his mind. Even Warwick. Kel might not like her, but…

“I’d rather they go to Hell than you,” Kel said.

Shepherd put his hand on Kel’s chest. “I’d be going too,” he said. “Remember? I’d rather do it on my own terms.”

He walked up to the edge of the pit, bare toes curled around the carved lip, and unfolded the contract. Kel stared at the back of his neck.

It felt like his heart was breaking.

It felt like he’d never get over it.

But he would. He knew himself well enough to be sure of that. It’d hurt—maybe it would hurt forever—but he’d learn to work around it. He’d fuck other people, and now he’d even have a get-out-of-guilt-free card for when he fucked them over.

It would be OK.

Never more than that, but Kel could come to terms with settling.