Page 34 of Love Lessons

It was exactly what he needed right now.

Maybe you don’t have to talk to him.

No, that’s the problem. If I talk to him it’ll be awkward, and if I don’t talk to him it’ll be awkward.

Because you had sex? Or because it was kinky sex?

Dustin rolled his eyes. You know I wouldn’t answer these questions for anyone but you.

That’s why you’re my best friend. And you give the best cuddles.

Dustin affectionately rubbed Zhong’s knee while he gave himself a moment to think. It’s because… I can’t even explain it. And maybe I’m just being a stupid newbie. But it felt really special, what he shared with me. He let himself be so vulnerable with me, and I think… I think he doesn’t share that much with most of the Doms he’s with. I was just… in awe.

I mean, I like sex, he continued. But what we did together went so far beyond sex. I can’t even really explain the difference. It was like it was more pure somehow. I know this sounds hokey, but it seemed like it was our true selves connecting or something.

Yeah, that sounded even more hokey than I thought, he trailed off. Anyway, it doesn’t matter since he never set up a second training session. Or even coffee. He said we could make dinner together, but clearly that isn’t going to happen.

Zhong took his Pad Thai container off his lap and pulled Dustin toward him. Dustin went willingly, resting in the familiar embrace, soaking in all of the comfort that came with a decade of history together. Zhong was always trying to take care of him like this, and he was pretty much the only one who was allowed to.

You know you never need to convince me that people can have intimate connections without sex.

I know. He felt a little guilty, and he turned to face his best friend. You know that you’re always very important to me, right? Even when I’m in other relationships. Or being an obstinate asshole because some guy doesn’t want to hang out with me.

Zhong pressed a kiss to his forehead. Sometimes he wished he and Zhong could have something together. But, just like Zhong had said, he needed someone who was just for him. And, yes, Dustin ultimately wanted to be with someone who he had sex with.

As usual, Zhong took it all in a stride. I know you love me. And you’re allowed to be hesitant. It’s not cool that he kept putting you off. Do you think he was scared, though?

Scared of what? I’m the newbie here.

Yeah, but you said he was more vulnerable with you than he was with other Doms. And you read people well. Much better than I do.

That totally wasn’t true, but Dustin didn’t interrupt.

Maybe he’s just nervous.

Dustin thought about it, and then he kept thinking about it. Landon had been so confident most of the time. The seductive submissive. The competent teacher. But there were those moments when something else peeked through.

That was really what had Dustin hooked. Those moments of vulnerability. That lost, nervous look in his eyes before the mask slipped back down.

Those were the lost pieces to the puzzle he needed to solve, the images that he’d been replaying from their night together.

And then the awe in Landon’s eyes. Not when he was cuffing him to the bedpost or using the crop. But when he’d realized where those sensitive spots were on his body. It was like he couldn’t believe that Dustin was real.

That was when it had all changed. When Dustin had gone from acting out a role he’d been trying on in his head to making Landon the center of his world. He wanted to protect him and hurt him and sooth his tears and give him everything that he needed.

Even if Landon didn’t know that he needed it.

You really think that he might not be answering me because he’s scared?

Zhong shrugged. It happens in movies.

Dustin laughed. That’s totally not helpful.

I think you should go tomorrow. At least you’ll know what’s going on. And you really should make friends in the kink community.

Maybe, Dustin hedged, already knowing that he was going. How’s the ace group?

Zhong gave him a hard stare. I went. And I’m going next time.