Page 58 of Love Lessons

Thank you, Lena. The kids have been asking about the science center, but no pressure.

She was such a sucker. But she had just said that she’d spend more time with them. I’ll be there. You can have some time to take care of yourself.

Self-care? What’s that?

Hell if I know. Lena laughed.

Do you ever realize that our family is a bunch of workaholics and, like, everyone else knows how to relax and have fun?

I relax and have fun. I’m going to have fun at the science center tomorrow.

Maggie shook her head. No, I’m serious. I’m, like, really trying to figure out how everyone else does it. To just, like, not take on as many projects and maybe not be such a perfect parent every second and have a moment to stop.

You’re my hero Maggie.

She had a point. And Lena couldn’t help but think of Dustin. He was coming over soon and… he really did make her relax. Forced her to, sometimes.

Hey! What are you thinking about?

Lena felt herself blushing. Which, like, never happened. She and Maggie were close, even if they didn’t spend a lot of time together that wasn’t playing Chutes and Ladders or talking about the kids. But it wasn’t like they had a lot of secrets. She even texted Maggie when she was going home with people, not that it happened that often since the club was easier.

Nothing. Just… a guy. Right? They’d met up six times now. Six. He would get over her and move on soon. Or maybe she’d get bored, though she couldn’t quite imagine that happening.

There was just something about his determined honesty, the way he could be so dominant and so vulnerable at the same time. The way he really seemed to care about her. She shook it all off.

Maggie looked thrilled. A guy?

Yeah. We hook up sometimes. She put on a smirk. I’m giving him lessons.

Kinky lessons?

You know me well.

Well, invite him over sometime. I’d like to meet him.

I don’t think it’s that kind of thing. He’s learning how to be a Dom. Which kind of sucked, because he’d probably get along great with Maggie and love the kids. But that wasn’t what this was about.

Well, he’s always welcome here. Let me know what time you’re stopping by tomorrow.

Lena agreed, and then with several more rounds of goodbyes and some virtual tickles, got off the phone.

She was thinking too much now, though. Thinking like she’d promised herself not to do.

She’d pathetically thrown herself into too many relationships before, and it had never worked out. People got too busy. Or they wanted different things. Or didn’t have time for her. It always came down to Lena sobbing on the couch for a few days and throwing herself back into work. It was just easier to skip the angsty parts and move on.

She had plenty of things that she loved to do, and her life was full. And maybe one day she’d try some self-care like Maggie suggested. Did running count? That was relaxing.

And scenes at the club were relaxing, too. Even if they’d been feeling empty for a while and she hadn’t felt like going recently.

They never did with Dustin, though, which was why she was so excited for tonight.

She finished up the last touch of lip gloss and rubbed her lips together. Then she pulled her hair out of the soft band and gave it a quick brush. She smiled at herself, and then tried out a frown.

Everything was more intense when she was Lena. When she was strong, which was most of the time, she was fiercer and braver. When she was sad or angry, it blew through her like a hurricane. And when she was worried it shook her like waves.

Tonight she wasn’t sure how she felt. She rubbed the silky fabric of her dress between her fingers, comforted by the texture. Comforted that it was there. That she could be Lena and just feel.

Dustin would be here in a few minutes, and she felt nervous and euphoric in equal measure.