Page 14 of Dear Daddy, Please Want Me

“Nope. I was, like, on my fourteenth trip to the bathroom when he called this morning. Then I started retching and hung up. I’d say it was one of my finer moments.”

“Oh, no. You didn’t!” Levi would have been embarrassed forever.

“Yep. Honest truth. So what’s going on?”

Levi explained the situation, dropping in some good-natured grousing about the superfluous modules. Christy had a few ideas, and even had him try one or two of them while she was on the phone.

Yeah, nothing.

“Dude, I don’t know what to tell you,” she finally said. “I mean, check out those other three modules I mentioned first, but if you and Saul haven’t found it so far I can’t think of anything in the matching algorithm. Do you want me to come in?”

“Nah. I mean, as much as I love your company, there’s no reason to waste your time.”

“Who else is there?”

“Just me and Saul.”

“Ooh! How’s that going?” she teased.

He rolled his eyes, even though she couldn’t see him. “Christy, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He looked around, just to make extra sure that Saul wasn’t nearby and that no one else had come in. He and Christy were always professional at work, but it hadn’t taken her long to get him to spill his secret crush. After all, they’d been besties since college.

“Uh, huh. What’s he doing right now? Is he making his stern Daddy face or his broody Daddy face? Or wait, the proud Daddy face?”

“Christy, I’m never talking to you again.”

“No, wait. Did he bring you presents as a reward for working over the weekend? Did he make you eat all your dinner?”

“No! I’m in my office. He’s in his office. I thought we were going to work together, but I’m just sitting here in my cubicle, alllllll alone. And lonely. Nothing is happening and your matching algorithm ought to die a terrible death.”

“You ought to fix that.”

“I can delete the matching algorithm right now.”

“You know I didn’t mean that. Go see what Daddy’s doing. Maybe he needs a break.”

“Ha, I wish. Anyway, it’s not like you can talk.” That was always his trick when she teased him about Saul. Change the topic.

“Oh, God. Tell me about it. Maybe I should quit my job. He’d be totally worth it, wouldn’t he?”

“Nooooo! Don’t leave me. Can’t you two just have kinky, illicit office sex like normal people? I mean, we work for Cuffd, right? I’m sure Nikhil could get plenty of work done while he’s kneeling at your feet in a jockstrap. You could set up a little work station for him under your desk and take out the ball gag for meetings.”

“Ugh, I wish. You may have noticed that he’s my direct supervisor. But Saul on the other hand…” she let it dangle.

They’d been over the conversation a million times. Her theory was that if Saul started dating Levi, that he might change some of the HR regulations. The two of them even had a whole drunken plan worked out where they gave each other performance reviews or something so their bosses didn’t have to. Not that it would probably make anything better, since they were besties. Thank God they were both legitimately good at their jobs.

“Saul is far too responsible to date an employee. And I don’t even know if he likes me.”

He could almost hear her rolling her eyes through the phone.

“He likes you. He brings Kosher donuts to the office and then hovers by your desk until you follow him to the kitchen so you can pick the first one.”

“Oh, yeah. And then he gives me the lovey Daddy face.” He lived for that face. When Saul just seemed so happy to know that Levi was happy. Or maybe he was reading things into it.

“I knew I was forgetting something. Hang on, isn’t there another one?”

“Yeah, the you’re-being-naughty Daddy face. I have to work hard for that one.”