Page 80 of Dear Daddy, Please Want Me

It did. No one else had ever understood it so clearly. “Yes, Daddy.”

“And since you don’t need me to help you reach actual goals or set actual limits, you’re finding ways to invent them. When you make sure that you have all of my attention, when you act up, and when you tell me what you want, that’s how you communicate what’s important in our relationship. It’s not being selfish and putting yourself first. It’s you being a greedy boy to make sure that I get to be the doting Daddy who’s lucky enough to be able to spoil you.”

“And you really want that? It isn’t silly?”

Daddy nuzzled his nose. “It’s silly and adorable and I want it more than anything.”

“Thank you, Abbale.” He couldn’t think of a more sincere way to say it than with his special name. “I don’t know what I did to deserve a Daddy as wonderful as you.”

“As long as you know that you do deserve this, that’s all that I want. And the next time that you request something, I want you to ask yourself if you’re being selfish or greedy. If you want something for yourself, or if you’re doing your part to build up the Daddy/boy relationship for both of us.”

“I will, Daddy.” It was an easy promise to make, but he still needed another minute to think. He relaxed back into Daddy’s shoulder. Greedy and selfish were just two silly words, but the distinction between them was earth-shattering.

“I’d like to hold you for a while, now.” Daddy’s soothing hands drifted up and down his back.

Levi snuggled in, soaking in all of the comfort. When he was being greedy he was building something. And that changed everything.

“Do you want to watch another movie, motek?”

“Sure.”

He heard the TV flick on behind him, though Daddy quickly lowered the volume of whatever trailer started auto-playing. “Maybe one of the rom coms we were looking at earlier? I think we need something light.”

“Sure,” he murmured happily. “You choose.”

There was silence for a while, then music and a low hum of voices filled the room.

“Do you want to turn around and watch it?”

Levi shook his head, his cheek rubbing against Daddy’s ear and his chin pressed to the back of the couch. “I want to watch it like this.”

Daddy chuckled. “That might not be very efficient.”

“I’m being greedy.” He tested out saying it.

Daddy nuzzled against his ear. “Good boy.” Those gentle hands kept stroking his back.

There were more movie noises from across the room. Singing. Something with cars. People laughing. Levi relaxed with Daddy’s arms keeping him safe.

“Baby? My simcha?”

“Hmmm?” He didn’t want to think about anything. He just wanted more nicknames.

“You mentioned a fantasy about the couch before. Is this it?”

Levi nodded. Maybe there was something that he wanted more. If he told Abbale, would he give it to him?

He was so close to Daddy’s ear that he didn’t have to speak much louder than a whisper. “This is one variation.”

“Will you tell me about all of them?”

“Um… they all start kind of like this. My Daddy”–he pressed a kiss to Saul’s neck–“is holding me on the couch. Sometimes we’re sitting like this, or laying down on our sides, or I’m turned around the other way. And sometimes this is the whole fantasy. I’m just floating here and my Daddy is holding me.”

“Do you ever watch the movie?”

“Sometimes. At least at first. But it’s more of a prop.”

“What are the other variations?”