Page 27 of Love Lessons: Expanded Edition

He gripped Landon’s chin harder, forcing his eyes up. He felt like he was teetering on a cliff, just short of diving into freefall. He already knew what he wanted to say, and he felt like once he did there would be no going back.

Not for him. Not for who he was. And hopefully not for who he was to Landon.

Alright. Even if you thought it was just being rough, I should have checked first. That was my mistake. Should we stop or do you want to start again? This whole experience was teetering between sexy and extremely uncomfortable, but he mostly wanted to do right by Landon.

I’m comfortable with starting again. He figured he’d start with a kind of do-over, and when he explained it, Landon agreed that it was a good idea.

Landon moved back into his original position, moving visibly from teacher to sub, though of course he was still being both.

Dustin took a deep breath, trying to put himself back into the scene. Landon was kneeling, waiting for the reprimand.

This was your warning, he explained sternly, his heart racing and his cock painfully pressing against his jeans. You are always to sign with me. You will not voice because you forget, which means that you will need to try harder. If you forget, I will be disappointed, and I will punish you. It was an empty threat, of course, but he’d wanted to try out the idea even if he felt a bit silly doing it out of context like this.

Yes, Sir, Landon replied. His fingers fumbled a little, and Dustin wondered if he thought this was just as awkward, or if he wasn’t used to the sign. He’d saluted with two fingers, like he was in the military, and while it was recognizable, it wasn’t really ASL. Come to think of it, Dustin wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a sign that meant something like “Sir,” even outside of a kinky context.

Good boy, he signed in return. He also felt a bit funny signing “boy” like that. He’d heard it in porn, and definitely read blogs by people who identified as boys, but saying it in ASL was somehow weirder. People didn’t often refer to themselves as others by names or nicknames, even though he could understand the psychological impact of inserting it into conversations.

This evening was turning out to be a lesson in all sorts of things that he hadn’t expected.

Landon’s lips twitched. He was probably noticing how odd it all was, too.

Dustin let himself smile, breaking the tension between them. This is a little weird, isn’t it?

Landon shrugged and smiled. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to just start where we left off, but it’s OK to figure things out. You’re actually not doing any worse than a lot of first-time Doms. Most people figure this out with a partner and it kind of grows organically. This is a bit unnatural.

Thank you, Dustin said honestly. It’s funny seeing you go from sub to teacher. I like seeing both sides of you, though.

For some reason, that elicited a blush and a shy smile. Did no one ever compliment Landon like this? For things that he was actually good at instead of just how he looked or what he could do with his body?

Dustin vowed to find more ways to compliment him, for as long as this continued. No, not just more ways to compliment him. More ways to see him. More ways to let him know that he was being seen.

You’re helping me feel a lot more comfortable with this. I’m sorry that I keep checking in. Hopefully I’ll have more confidence soon. He wasn’t going to mention why he felt so worried, beyond the stress of being in this weird situation. There was no need to burden Landon with it, or possibly even scare him. As long as he signed it should be fine.

You’re beautiful in your submission, he added. It was true. And he meant it fervently.

But he wasn’t surprised when Landon gave his practiced sultry smile in acknowledgement. That was the fake smile. Well, maybe not the fake smile, but the one that he gave automatically. Dustin wanted the other one more.

He ran his hands down Landon’s arms, starting from his shoulders and then pulling his hands up until he held them gently in front of his chest. Landon deserved to be treasured, even if he was looking at him with a hint of confusion.

Reluctantly, Dustin dropped his hands so they could converse. He’d thought he could get things started again, but he was struggling. Asking Landon for a blowjob now felt like it would be weird. I… Do you really want to continue?

Landon nodded eagerly. Yes. Definitely. As long as you’re comfortable. How are you feeling?

Dustin thought about bluffing, but he knew he needed to be honest with Landon as both his teacher and his sub. I’m feeling… pretty terrible at this. I know what I want, but I keep questioning myself. And I think I’m kind of in awe of you. Like, I can’t believe that I actually get to touch you and I’m afraid of messing it up.

Landon touched his cheek gently. It felt like the first time that Landon was really seeing him and not just a Dom he was supposed to seduce or train.

Dustin was dying to kiss him, but he still wasn’t sure if Landon would appreciate it.

I also… he might as well admit it. I know that the Dom’s supposed to make the decisions, but I feel like it’s weird for me to decide what we do. I mostly want to know what you want so that I can give that to you. Does that make sense? Like, I want to be in control, but I want to give you something that you need instead of what I want.

Landon pressed his fingers to his lips, an almost kiss. That was sweet. And I understand you perfectly. I don’t act as a Dom often, and when I do it’s almost entirely about giving the other person what they want.

Dustin couldn’t believe how relieved he was to hear that. He knew that there were a lot of types of dominance, and it felt good to untangle a little thread of what he might be looking for. He felt more confident, too. So, could you maybe tell me what you’d like tonight?

Landon raised his hands, an answer already on his fingertips.

No, wait. He held up one hand.