Page 2 of Love Limits

Zhong scowled. He’d known for most of his life that he was asexual, but he’d only recently discovered that he wanted a romantic relationship. It wasn’t exactly the realization that most people came to at the age of thirty-three.

He wiggled his toes to maintain Dustin’s attention. When Dustin dug his fingers into the arch of his foot, he tried to explain. College was much easier. In college they give you roommates. And if you like them, you keep living with them. That’s what I want.

That was how he’d found Sarah, and later Dustin. Only it turned out that if you kept wanting to live with and snuggle with your college roommate five years later, the people he dated thought you were weird or creepy. Or at least that was how it had worked with Dustin’s exes.

Is there a way to just skip to that part? Zhong was only being slightly facetious. He knew it wasn’t that simple, but when people talked about dating he usually tuned it all out because, up until recently, he’d assumed it didn’t apply to him.

Well, he’d teased Dustin about dating, but that was only because sexual relationships were so weird.

Now he needed a crash course. Somehow, millions of people got married every day, so there must be some secret to finding the right person that was a little more efficient than blind dates.

Dustin laughed again. At least one of them was amused. Everybody thinks that. I mean, nobody likes going on dates with people they don’t know. It takes a lot of time and energy, and there’s usually no payoff.

Wait, really? Why do people do it? And I thought you liked going on dates. Dustin usually made dates sound like fun. Or at least interesting.

Dating someone you’re already attracted to is fun. Going on dates with strangers is usually frustrating.

Dammit.

Yep, Dustin agreed happily. Welcome to the world of romantic relationships. This is why I’m taking a long break after Alan. Well, that and the fact that Dustin had discovered he was kinky and didn’t know what to do about it.

But Dustin was going to figure it out, because Zhong wanted him to be happy. And because Zhong was pushy as hell and not above a little manipulation. You’re still going to the munch, right? If Dustin couldn’t find a sub at the casual brunches of kinky folks, hopefully he’d at least get over his hesitation.

If you’re still going to the asexual meet-up, Dustin returned quickly.

I already went, Zhong said smugly.

Oh! How was it?

There’s not much to tell. Your munch will probably be much cooler.

Tell me about it anyway, Dustin prompted.

That was their deal, though Zhong wished he had something more to share. Alright… Ready? First we went around in a circle and awkwardly introduced ourselves. With our names and our favorite donuts, which took people an impressive amount of time to explain. Then, everyone bitched about how nobody understood them. It was a great reminder for why I wouldn’t go back to high school if you paid me.

The fact was, Zhong often felt like no one understood him. Not his best friend in the whole world, and sometimes not himself. He just didn’t want to whine about it.

It wasn’t productive. When he needed to figure things out, he used his journal and talked to Dustin. Otherwise, he’d rather talk about other things.

The best part, he continued, was when someone asked for advice about dating someone who wanted to have sex and the others told them to give the person an ultimatum and not give in to the pressure. I tried to suggest that they should maybe have a mature conversation where they both talked about their needs, but then I gave up because I couldn’t speech read when they were all talking. And they didn’t seem to care what I had to say. Also, did I mention that everyone was hearing? The two Deaf people didn’t show up.

Wow. That all sounds really shitty.

Yeah, I think it’s just a crappy group. There were only six people and I think they’re just stuck in their ways or something. A lot of the ace groups online are much more positive and supportive.

Dustin leaned forward to kiss his knee.

It was one of those things that happened all the time, but Zhong felt like it should go on the list. Maybe he could find someone who’d kiss his knee, because it was close by, without ever expecting anything more.

You shouldn’t go back there, Dustin said emphatically. Just forget about our agreement. I’ll still go to the munch and you can do something healthier. I mean, it sounds like you already are if you have online groups.

I’m going to go back at least one more time because there are apparently a couple Deaf folks who just weren’t there this time.

Dustin looked at him skeptically. Do you really think it’ll be worth it? I mean, if you’re looking for support it sounds like you already have it. And if you’re looking for a relationship… that’s a really small chance.

Statistically unlikely, yeah. But I think I still have a higher probability of meeting a Deaf ace person that I like at an ace meet-up with Deaf participants than, say, hanging out on your couch. He kicked Dustin lightly with the heel that wasn’t being massaged. Don’t rain on my statistically improbable parade.

Dustin chucked, as he had intended. Good point. I just worry about you.