Page 34 of All Tied Up

Neil had been ready. Standing around not getting hit on was as bad as being practically attacked with offers. “Ready.”

Sebastian reached for Neil’s hand, and just like that, Neil was back into impossible-crush mode. Warmth radiated up his arm from that gentle grip as Sebastian pulled him out the door. They walked past the pool table into a smaller nook where Sebastian guided him to the couch, propelling Neil to sit before crowding in next to him.

It was just such a Daddy move, or a boyfriend move, or a… something that made Neil feel all tingly and warm and wanting this burly adoring Daddy to… Well, he wasn’t quite sure.

He knew Sebastian wasn’t his Daddy, but if he could just soak in a little bit more of this Daddiness for a little bit longer…

It wasn’t hard to do. Their bodies were pressed together along the length of their sides, heat and awareness flowing along every inch of that connection. Neil’s arm had never felt so sensitive before, pressed against Sebastian’s arm and the bare skin of his waist.

He didn’t need to look to recall the exact shape of the leather harness across Sebastian’s chest. From the first moment, it had made Neil just want to lick and touch. To see if the curly mat of hair on his pecs felt different from the dark line running down his generous belly…

Neil pushed his head backward into the couch with a heavy sigh, staring at the popcorn ceiling. That wasn’t how this worked.

He closed his eyes, still acutely aware of Sebastian’s body.

“You can talk or not talk,” Sebastian said quietly. “I’m happy to just sit while you relax, or you can tell me about your evening and ask me questions. There aren’t any expectations.”

Somehow, that was just what Neil wanted to hear. Of course there were still expectations. There always were. But, blissfully, Sebastian’s expectations seemed to include Neil being insecure and uncertain. Neil couldn’t even remember the last time that had happened. It was exhausting acting like he knew what he was doing all the time. It had gotten better when he fell into a routine, but being in a new situation and not having to bluster through it was a relief.

Clearly Sebastian was on board with the idea that Neil wanted someone to look after him. Maybe Sebastian was just such a magnificent Daddy that he had enough Daddiness to spread around.

“So it’s OK if I don’t talk?” he asked, partially to check out the situation, and partially because it was just so satisfying to ask permission and leave things like that up to someone else.

“Nope. Come here.” Sebastian lifted his arm, and then Neil’s whole face was pressed against that glorious chest, the warmed leather smooth against his chin and the crinkly hair intoxicating under his cheek.

Sebastian's heavy arm wrapped around his shoulders and set up a slow rhythm up and down his back.

Oh, God. Sebastian smelled so good. Like clean sweat, something with just a bit of spice, and the rich smell of leather.

Neil couldn’t help but turn his head until his lips brushed the smooth strap. Yeah, it felt amazing. It definitely wasn’t a kiss or anything, he justified to himself, only a touch. And it wasn’t like Sebastian could feel it or know how arousing he found it.

“What helps you relax?” Sebastian asked. Neil could feel the words rumbling in his chest.

Neil shrugged. “I have no idea.”

Sebastian seemed to find this funny, the chuckle shaking his chest. It was an affectionate sound, though. “Do you ever relax?”

“I can’t ever remember trying to. But, um… I guess that was one of the things I was hoping for with a Daddy.” He nodded toward the other room. Maybe it was good to discuss these things with someone else.

“Let’s try something then,” Sebastian spoke with that deep rumble, though he didn’t take the conversation where Neil was expecting it to go. “Can you feel my breaths?”

“Yeah.” He definitely could. He was hyper-aware of every movement and hair and sound. Anything that had to do with Sebastian.

Neil tentatively wrapped his arm around Sebastian’s belly, seeking more of that entrancing touch. Sebastian patted his hand, confirming that he’d done the right thing. This was exactly what having a Daddy would feel like.

“Good. I want you to match your breaths with mine. Breathe in when I breathe in. Breathe out when I breathe out.”

It took Neil a few tries to get the hang of it. Sebastian’s inhalations were a bit shorter than he would inhale on his own, and the exhalations much longer.

But once he did, it was kind of magical. Intimate. Close. Like they were some organic form that shared the same lungs and the same air.

No, even better. It was like Sebastian was teaching Neil to shape the natural rhythms of his body to match, so that they could fit together. Sebastian was leading, Neil was following, and it was like some kind of dance.

Neil had to keep paying attention or he’d miss the cues, but that meant that the rest of his mind was free to float.

Slowly, the sounds of the space filled in over Sebastian’s breathing. Some other folks had entered the room, and Neil could hear the distinct sound of a ping-pong ball bouncing somewhere, accompanied by laughter.

He heard another voice, which could only be Isaac, apparently discovering a dinosaur toy. There were giggles and a lot of roars. Playing with children’s toys still sounded boring to Neil, but it was fun to listen to Isaac feeling so happy and free. A different version of the thing he was longing for.