Page 57 of All Tied Up

He turned toward the stairs, since they presented the nearest exit. He didn’t just want to hide in his room. He wanted to pack his suitcase, drive home, and never try this again.

What a failure of a sub he’d made.

Sebastian stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Neil, hang on a second. Talk to us.” His voice held all of the gentle warmth that it had lacked a few minutes ago, but Neil didn’t deserve it anymore.

“There’s not much to say.” He was still facing the stairs. “I guess I’m not cut out for this.”

“Can I hold you?” Sebastian asked, surprising him. When he didn’t answer, Sebastian added a soft “Please.” He sounded like he was almost in pain.

It didn’t seem right for a Dom to be begging for something, and maybe that was the only reason Neil gave in. He gave a single, small nod.

At once, Sebastian engulfed him in his strong arms, and Jamie came up behind him, curling her head around to rest on his shoulder. It felt really good. So much nicer than he deserved.

He thought they would stop after a moment, but the warm press of their bodies quietly continued. Nobody said a word. They just held him until Neil felt like he had no choice and relaxed into it. It felt so good to accept any comfort they were willing to give him, even if it was only for a moment.

This was probably what they were supposed to do. Kind of like aftercare, he figured. He knew enough about safewords to know that good Doms made sure everyone was OK after someone used one, so that was probably what this was. It was nice that Jamie had joined in too, letting him feel so completely enveloped and warm as his frantic pulse slowed.

But even after he relaxed, they still kept holding him. Sebastian set up a gentle rocking motion, swaying the three of them back and forth. Jamie hummed softly by his ear, a warm, sleepy melody that he didn’t know.

It was really, really nice.

“Let’s go find somewhere more comfortable where we can talk,” Sebastian suggested softly.

Neil shook his head. The evening had already been exhausting and depressing enough without rehashing it. And he was certain that once they let go of him he’d barely make it to his room before he broke apart.

Gentle fingers ran over his scalp.

“Alright, sweet boy. We don’t have to talk yet. Let’s go find somewhere comfortable where we can cuddle.”

Neil jerked his head up. How in the world was he still sweet boy after all of that? And why would they still want to cuddle him?

Sebastian looked him in the eye. “I want you to know that I’m proud of you for using your safeword. I made a lot of mistakes tonight, but all of that is my fault. Doing a public scene with a shy sub was a terrible idea, and I think there was something about the role play that set you off, too.”

Neil shook his head, dropping his eyes. Sebastian had described most of it, but it hadn’t been his fault, since Neil had expressed his enthusiastic interest at several points throughout the day. There was no way Sebastian could have possibly known that Neil would chicken out over a cold glare and made-up names before the audience even came into the picture.

“Alright, darling boy. I still want to know what triggered you, but you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. Right now, it would mean a lot to me if you would let me hold you. Is that alright?”

Neil still didn’t understand, but he wanted to believe it.

Maybe they might even want to do something again, after all of the cuddling. Neil wasn’t feeling even slightly aroused, but if doing something sexual could help make up for this, he could do it.

“Neil?” Sebastian asked, worry creasing his brow. “Will you come upstairs with us?”

“Oh.” He hadn’t even answered. And he felt like he needed to give them at least one more chance to back out. “What’s going to happen to everyone in there?” He gestured vaguely at the other room.

“We’re friends with a couple who signed up to do a public scene after us and I think they’ve already started. Two of the guests for the weekend are a maybe. And our dungeon master tonight is another friend who does rope demos all the time, and she’ll ask for volunteers if anyone’s interested after that.”

Neil hadn’t noticed it before, but he could hear a man’s clear, commanding tone drifting out from the other room instead of the buzzing murmur of conversation. He probably had things well in hand.

Jamie nuzzled against Neil’s back. “Please come cuddle with us?”

“Yeah.” Neil finally gave in. “If that’s OK?”

“Please.” There was Sebastian begging again. It was strange, and not at all what he’d expected. “I don’t want to let you out of my sight right now.”

Neil was still reeling from that pronouncement when Sebastian turned them both toward the elevator. Jamie disengaged enough to just hold his hand.

It felt really good being so connected to them right now. Maybe he actually hadn’t fucked things up too much.