Page 104 of Love Unlimited

Yes, Daddy. Ash felt their eyes get all misty. That’s exactly what it’s about. They’d just never had anyone express the relationship like it was a holy calling.

So for me to know that you enjoy sex, and would like to have it in your life, either on your own, or with Dustin and Landon, or with me, but you won’t let me be part of providing it feels… like you’re cutting me off from giving you that joy.

Wow. Really, wow. I’m sorry, Ash replied. It was really the only thing they could think of to say. Is that always how you’ve felt about it?

Zhong waved his head from side to side, thinking. I believe it was always there. But it took me a while to figure it out and have words for it. In part, it took me a while to understand what it meant to be your Daddy. In part, you were probably right. There was a while where I wasn’t sure if I was enough for you, and I’m more confident now.

But, Daddy continued, it was hard that you didn’t want to talk about this or let me support you. I don’t think I would have noticed so much, except that it’s obvious that you’re attracted to Dustin and Landon. I know that you don’t want to have casual sex, and I understand that. But things aren’t casual between the four of us any more. Are they?

Ash shook their head. They hadn’t been for a while.

Watching you not be with them because you’re trying to protect me feels like you don’t want to let me give you what you need and take care of you. It was the same thing today when you didn’t want to pull out your sex toys. You don’t hide anything from me, I don’t think, except for sex. It makes me feel like I’m a barrier instead of a support.

Fuck. That was huge. Ash had really screwed that up. I’m so, so sorry. I just… I thought it would be easier if we just didn’t mention it. I mean, it’s true that I don’t need sex to be happy. I want to make really, really sure that you understand that.

Daddy nodded somberly. I do. I think I’ve understood it better over time. But I also think that could apply to anything. You don’t need me to pack your lunch every morning to be a happy person, but when I do, it makes you even happier. You glow like sunshine when you’re with Dustin and Landon, and I don’t want to be the clouds blocking you out. If you want to do something with them, I’d really like it if I could give that to you.

Ash sat for a moment, thinking, since Daddy would never rush them. There were so many things they’d assumed that were getting turned on their head right now. After all the self-recriminations for not talking about this months ago like they should have, there was one thing they kept coming back to.

You keep talking about sex as something that you’d give me. Does that mean… you want to control that part of our relationship, even if I’m doing something by myself or with someone else?

Daddy’s brow furrowed. I don’t think I control any part of our relationship, actually. I think I try to figure out what will make you happiest, and then give it to you because you let me.

Ash nodded, their brain still whirling. It both was and wasn’t how Ash thought of their relationship. In some ways, it completely turned the Dom/sub relationship on its head. It was almost like Zhong was a service Daddy, if that was even a thing. In fact, that might be exactly what he was.

Ash would need to spend a lot more time thinking about this later, but right now, Daddy was still talking.

So if me giving you gifts, Daddy formed the base of a box with his hands and extended it toward Ash, is what you mean by control, then yes. I think that’s what I want. He nodded, as if to himself, but with more conviction now. I want to give you sex.

Wow. That was a lot to take in. It was also hot as fuck. The idea of Daddy… giving them sex as a gift? Damn. They could just imagine Daddy telling them to go take a shower and make themself come after a long day at work. Ash could imagine asking Daddy’s permission to join Dustin and Landon in their naughty play, though there were still a million tangled aspects to consider. If, or maybe when, Ash decided they were ready for that, Daddy would give his permission with joy, because he loved them so much that he wanted them to be happy like sunshine.

It was also clear that Daddy was figuring out a lot more about kink, and what pushed his own buttons. There was a fire in his eyes when he talked about this that Ash only saw when something was really important to him. This wasn’t just something he was putting up with. It was something he wanted.

It was a gentle form of control, like the way Daddy parceled out Ash’s treats and wrapped up small gifts to endlessly delight them. If Daddy wanted to control Ash’s sex life and wrap it up like a present, that sounded heavenly.

If that’s really what you want, Ash answered, giving Daddy one more chance to confirm, then I’d like that, too.

Yeah? Daddy asked, hopeful excitement on his face. I wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea. Wow. He really did want this.

No, it’s an excellent idea. It’s… Ash gave themself a moment to just shiver with the image of it all. I have to admit that the idea of you managing that for me, feels both intimate and erotic for me. The same sign could mean control or manage, two bent index fingers moving back and forth away from the chest at opposite times, but Ash tried to make the word gentler, to show the fluid interchange. I like the idea of asking you for permission like I do with other treats. Or having you tell me to do something when you think it’s the right thing for me.

Daddy grinned broadly. Yes. That’s exactly what I was thinking.

Would you want to watch? Or… participate somehow?

Sometimes, Daddy winked. In some ways.

Alright so… I guess I should have asked a long time ago what sex is like for you. I think I just assumed you were asexual and I knew what that meant, but that wasn’t fair. So, please tell me.

Come here. Daddy leaned back against the headboard and got them both settled so that Ash was straddling his lap and they could see each other to communicate. Daddy didn’t seem to be in any hurry to start the conversation, though, so Ash just snuggled into his shoulder. There was a rhythm to Daddy sharing his thoughts, and Ash didn’t need to rush him. For now, they could absorb the comforting strength of his arms around them and the warm, spicy scent that was uniquely him.

Finally, he gave them a gentle nudge until they sat upright. Let me start by saying that I’ve never felt sexual attraction to anyone or anything. Before I figured that out, I ended up in a lot of situations where people wanted me to be sexually active. Sometimes I tried it because I was curious. That was more or less OK if the other person wasn’t upset. Sometimes I got angry with the other person because they kept pushing when I wasn’t interested. And sometimes I got angry with myself because I wasn’t like everyone else and I felt like I should be. I still feel that way when I’m worried about getting pushed into something. Zhong held up one hand when Ash started to object, then gave them a gentle look. I know you would never push me.

Never, Ash swore. Respecting your limits and enjoying the rest of our relationship is much, much more important to me. Not to mention that it would be morally wrong.

Daddy gave them a kiss, just a soft brush across the lips. I know that, and it means everything to me. But I also want to say that my asexuality is more complex than I thought it was. Now that I have you in my life and I have a better idea of my relationship with Dustin, I’m learning that I feel a lot of emotional attraction to people.

Zhong paused and Ash knew better than to interrupt him. Did I tell you that when I see Landon now, I get that same glowing chest feeling I do with you and Dustin?