Page 102 of A Little Bit Naughty

Either way, he was going to move into Daddy’s lovely house, where they were going to renovate the guest bathroom together over the break and he could choose the tile. Where Daddy would make breakfast for him every morning while he swung his feet on the stools. Where his playroom was already waiting for him with a mysterious surprise.

“You have your Daddy-cuddle blanky?” Daddy asked, the next part of their evening ritual.

“Mmmmm-hmmmm…” He rolled over on his side, taking the phone with him. The Daddy-cuddle blanket was one of his Hanukkah presents, as soft as a cloud and weighted inside so that it felt like Daddy was snuggling him into the mattress.

“That’s right, baby boy. That’s Daddy holding you tight, all through the night.”

“I can feel you, Daddy.” It felt like Daddy was really there. He could feel Daddy’s weight deep into his bones and almost imagine his heartbeat.

“Good night, sleepy boy. Text me in the morning.”

“I will, Daddy. G’night.”

Daddy gave one last kiss, then hung up the phone.

Even though Daddy wasn’t in the same city, he was always there with him. All the time.

Epilogue

Remi

Remi drove through the light Portland traffic, eyes flickering constantly to the phone mounted on the dashboard. Not because he needed directions for the drive home, but because he’d been watching Isaac pace back and forth in the living room and it was driving him mad.

Four years after Isaac came to live with him, he still used baby monitors to check on his husband and little. He was certain that most of the population would find that invasive, but for their lifestyle it worked. He’d seen Isaac, more than once, grin and wave at the camera just in case he was watching. And he loved sending Isaac texts when they were apart, commenting on something he’d just seen—how yummy his breakfast looked or how cute he was reading on the couch. Izzy had decided during their year apart that he could read Daddy texts no matter how regressed he was, and that helped keep them constantly together.

What Remi hadn’t expected was to see Isaac looking so agitated. He was still wearing his khakis and polo shirt from work, instead of more comfortable shorts he’d usually change into for the summer weather. The worst part was that he wasn’t picking up his phone, though Remi had called three or four times. It was probably upstairs where he couldn’t hear it. Instead, he kept watching the door, like he was waiting for Remi to come home.

Remi was racing there as fast as he could.

At last, he pulled into the driveway, barely even remembering to lock the car as he barreled inside.

“Baby boy? What’s wrong?”

Isaac looked up, startled. “Hey. Why do you think something’s wrong?”

Remi crossed the living room in a few large steps, sweeping Isaac into his arms. “You’ve been pacing for half an hour, and you weren’t answering the phone.”

Isaac looked toward the mantle where the monitor sat discretely next to a framed photo of the two of them, then up at Remi. “Oh, sorry, Daddy. But it’s not something bad. I was just waiting for you to get home.”

Remi’s lungs expanded again. “Well, I’m home now.” He settled gently onto the couch, since it wasn’t a great day for his back, then pulled Isaac into his lap. “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just that I might be a little bit…” He paused for long enough for Remi to look him over for signs of fever or distress. “...pregnant.”

“Isaac!” People on the next block probably heard his shout. “Really?” Remi put his hand on Isaac’s belly.

Isaac chuckled. “You can’t feel anything. It’s the size of a sesame seed. Maybe a grain of rice.”

“Yes, but it’s our baby. You’re carrying our baby, right there in your belly right now.” He sent the clump of cells messages of love and welcome. “When’s the baby due?”

Isaac got a little lopsided smile on his face. “March. The poor thing’s going to be a Passover baby.”

“And that’s bad?” So far, Remi had enjoyed Passover, learning to make Isaac’s family recipes and diving into the symbolism of the Seders. The only hard part was that Isaac absolutely insisted on removing every crumb of bread—literally—from their house. And while Isaac never complained that Remi ate chametz, the leavened bread, while he was working during the day, Remi felt guilty anyway. It was just really hard to keep eating matzah all week. “Oh, never mind. I guess you couldn’t exactly make a birthday cake.”

“Yep.”

“We’ll figure it out. Maybe we can make birthday merengues or birthday almond cakes. Or just wait a week for the party.” That suddenly made it all so real. “We’re actually having a baby!” He wanted to jump for joy and tell everyone he knew. He wanted to throw a party now, or maybe just take Isaac up to their room so he could make love to him until the sun came up.

But that clearly wasn’t where Isaac was with all of this right now, so he reeled it all back in. “How are you feeling about it? Remember, there are no wrong feelings.”