Page 75 of A Little Bit Naughty

Remi nodded, which felt almost like praise. He was seated at his own much nicer dining room table now, where Isaac had eaten sticky waffles and tasty dinners just last week. “Anything else you wanted to learn how to do or repair like that?”

“Um… everything? The only thing I can use a hammer for is putting nails in the walls for pictures.”

“Well, we’ll have to fix that.” It wasn’t quite a promise, but it was close.

The two of them ended up talking for another hour, until Isaac found himself yawning. Remi didn’t quite tell him to go to sleep and tuck him in with a kiss… But the second time Isaac yawned, Remi declared that they both had big days tomorrow and needed some rest. They said goodbye to each other at least a dozen times in between other little things they remembered.

When Isaac finally returned to his bedroom he felt… calm. He still missed his Daddy something fierce, but he could see his way forward. He packed all of his presents back into the cardboard box.

Well, most of them. He tucked the drill into his pocket. One of the dino-cars found its way there, too. And a yellow chick with fur as soft as a cloud.

Then he unpacked his suitcase from the trip, sorting out the little stuff from the big and finally reclaiming his favorite pair of jeans. There were more little presents inside, he discovered. Daddy had given him so many wonderful, thoughtful gifts.

He gave some of them a little pat or a snuggle, feeling the squishable textures or letting wheels turn across his palm. Then he made a row across the edge of his desk.

Finally, he closed the lid on his greatly expanded toy box. He couldn’t pack his little self away that easily, but he could manage it. He’d still get to be little with his friends and go to some events. It wasn’t any different from how the last few years had been.

Only now, he’d get to bring presents from Da– from Remi with him. Even as he shoved them to the top of his closet, he liked the idea of knowing they were there.

That had been hard, but necessary.

He looked one more time at the shiny new toys.

He didn’t usually regress in his apartment now that Tommy had moved across the country. But just this once, he knew what he needed. It had been a very, very long week. And he knew that as soon as he let himself go, he’d be feeling very, very small. Remi wasn’t his Daddy now, but now his little side knew that he hadn’t been abandoned, so he was feeling safe again.

He slipped into the kitchen to microwave some milk, then poured it into a bottle in his room, twisting on the plastic nipple. He imagined Daddy’s hands doing it. Not Remi, he told himself. Or maybe just a memory of Remi, one that hadn’t happened but that he could create right now. Remi would make sure his bottle was exactly the right temperature.

He slipped a diaper out of the closet too, then shucked off all his clothes and taped it on. Mmmmm… He loved that feeling of being all wrapped up and secure. He gave his special places a few nice rubbies because it always felt so good through the thick padding. Sometimes his hands just wandered there, in a miracle of self-discovery or a soothing, self-comforting gesture of warm, cozy pleasure. But that wasn’t what he wanted right now.

He climbed under his cozy sheets and cuddled Roary and Lizzy close. As the first drops hit his tongue, it felt like he was wrapped up in a warm hug.

In the soft glow of his nightlight, he could still see the smooth outlines of his new drill, the fuzzy chick, and the spikes of his dinosaur car. To his sleepy eyes, though, they became bright colors. Meaningless but fascinating. Yellow. Gray. Red.

Until those words didn’t have any meaning either.

All that baby Izzy knew was that they meant happiness.

17

Remi

“Baby Shark, Doo doo, doo doot doo-doot. Baby Shark, Doo doo, doo doot doo-doot…” Remi sung along with Nina and Ellie in the car, a grin on his face.

Ellie said “baby sawk” each time and couldn’t quite keep up with all the doo’s, but she loved it.

“Do we have to listen to this again?” Katy whined from the back seat.

“Yeah,” Carlos chimed in. “Play Taylor Swift.”

Taylor Swift? Wasn’t he too young for that?

“No, play Cats!” Mikey put in. He was obsessed with the musical.

“Maybe after this song,” Remi suggested, knowing they were almost home. He was on caravan duty today, and picking up everyone in his sister’s van was always an adventure.

Just as the song ended, he pulled into the driveway.

“Mommy!” Ellie cried out.