Page 154 of What About Us

“Same here, baby. You soothe me.”

“But the closer we got to you being back on the ice, the more I started to freak out. Because what I said the other day is true. You’ve already forgotten me twice before, and if it happens again, I won’t survive it, Xander.”

“Okay.” I nod. My first instinct is to simply say It won’t happen. But I don’t think that’s what she needs right now. “How can I reassure you? What do you need from me, baby?”

She blinks fast and looks out the windows to the city, as if she’s shocked by the question.

“No one has ever asked me that before,” she whispers. “I was always just yelled at. Told to shut the fuck up. To get over it and stop being a baby.”

“Whoa.” I shake my head and frame her face, making her look at me. “No. No, Ivy. I don’t ever want you to shut up, and I definitely don’t want you to deal with this by yourself. You just tell me what you need to get through the anxiety. Even if you don’t need anything from me at all.”

She pets Cally, and then, in the smallest voice, she says, “What else did you forget? Was it just me?”

Fuck, she’s breaking my heart.

“It wasn’t just you,” I tell her. “Remember at the cookout at my house, when my brother asked if I remembered daring Easton to ride his bike in the lake?”

She tilts her head to the side. “Yeah.”

“I don’t remember it. There are just some memories that are gone. I remember my mom clearly. In fact, my family, teammates, best friends are all here.”

I tap my temple.

“But I couldn’t tell you who I went to prom with. Or who my seventh grade math teacher was. I can do math, though.”

She chuckles at that.

“I don’t remember sticking up for you in high school, and I wish I did. I’ve had moments since we’ve been together that I get a flash of a memory. But nothing concrete.”

She nods and frowns, and I decide to try something different.

“Ivy, the people I love the most? I didn’t forget them. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that you’re the most important person in my life, and even if I get hurt, I couldn’t forget how much I love you. But that doesn’t invalidate your feelings, so we’ll work through it together.”

She nods again and offers me a shaky smile.

“There might be times that I just have a freak out. I can’t control it. It just happens.”

“So noted.”

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

IVY

He’s not mad.

He’s watching me with tender, patient green eyes, and he’s holding my hand while he listens to my fears, and now I feel silly that I didn’t say something sooner. I know him. He would have been like this from the beginning.

But anxiety isn’t always rational.

In fact, it’s never rational.

But I have so much more to tell him.

“I quit my job today,” I say, and his eyes shift to mine. “Because I don’t want to travel back and forth. I want to be with you.”

His hand tightens on mine.

“What else have you been up to?”