Page 181 of Lose You Twice

He rolls his eyes but sets his controller down before saying a quick goodbye and heading upstairs.

“And you,” she says, tugging on my hoodie, “need to get home and get some sleep. You have an early workout tomorrow and a big game coming up.”

I stand, stretching, and catch her eyes drop to my stomach that’s exposed. “That I do, but I can always make exceptions if you want me to stay a little longer.”

I try to step into her more, but she pushes me away and starts walking toward the door. “Nice try, bud.”

Chuckling, I follow her to the door, grabbing my keys from where I laid them on the counter earlier. We walk to my car before she turns to me, finally wrapping her arms around me and laying her head on my chest.

I kiss her head, breathing in the smell of her strawberry shampoo. I could stay here all night, but she’s right; I do need to get back to my place.

“Text me when you get home,” she says, pulling back enough to look up at me.

“So bossy,” I tease, leaning down to kiss her.

“Took that one from you.”

I kiss her once more because she can take anything from me that she wants. Besides my heart, anyway.

She stole that years ago.

30

WREN

It takes an entire week after my blood work for the results to come through. Seeing normal on multiple tests should be a relief, but really it feels like a mockery.

I should be relieved.

Part of me is. A small, reasonable part of my brain looks at the bloodwork results and thinks, Great. Good. One less thing to worry about. You’re fine.

But I don’t feel fine.

The rest of me wants to throw my phone into a river and scream until my lungs burn.

Because normal doesn’t explain why my cramps sometimes make my vision go fuzzy. Normal doesn’t explain why I’ve spent years planning outfits around the possibility of bleeding through them. Normal doesn’t explain why I know exactly which bathrooms on campus have the least foot traffic, or why I keep painkillers in three different bags, or why I once sat through an entire lecture with my nails pressed into my palm so hard I had crescent marks for an hour afterward.

A few of my hormone panels aren’t back yet, and I still have my ultrasound, so why do I feel so helpless right now?

My phone vibrates in my pocket as I walk toward my car, having forgotten my notes that we’re allowed to use during our exam today. I pull it out, noting the number belongs to the twins’ school.

I answer it quickly, “Hello?”

“Hi, Wren? My name is Lucy, and I’m the nurse at Oakville School. Daisy was brought into the office with a fever and isn’t feeling well, so we need to have you come get her.”

“Did you try my mom? I have a test that starts in about fifteen minutes that I really can’t miss.”

“I’m so sorry, honey. We did try calling her a few times, and she didn’t pick up.”

I drop my head, pressing my free hand to my forehead. “Okay. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Sorry again. We’ll see you soon.”

Getting back into my car, I throw my bag onto my seat and lean back against the headrest.

If I could just have one single day that doesn’t end up turning into a shit show, I’d be thrilled. Each day that passes, I’m feeling more and more like I’m nearing the end of my rope.

I love my siblings dearly. I love my mom, but I am drowning, and absolutely no one seems to notice.