Page 183 of Lose You Twice

We break apart and walk to the sidewalk where the others are standing. Weston is the first to speak. “Sorry about your car, Wren. Did it make any weird noises before it croaked?”

“Actually, it made a really weird noise when I was leaving PCU, but then it was fine.” I shrug. “Until it wasn’t.”

He nods, moving to the front of the car. “Yo, Grayson, can you pop the hood?”

Grayson jogs around to the driver’s door, opens it, and pops the hood. Weston makes a face, bending down for a closer look.

“Hate to tell ya, girlfriend, but I think you overheated. Your radiator looks split.”

“I don’t know what that really means, but I’m assuming it’s not good.”

Weston nods, his face grim. “Not good at all.”

Of course not.

By the time I convince Kai that I’ll be okay if he stays with the guys and we make it home, Daisy is awake and miserable again after waking up when we were trying to move her into Harlow’s car.

The guys stayed behind with my car; Weston called one of his buddies and is getting him to tow my car to his nearby shop.

I get Daisy settled on the couch with a water bottle, her favorite blanket, and her favorite show, and then some Tylenol in her system.

Harlow’s sitting at the kitchen table, closing her notebook as I make my way over.

“Do you think your English professor will let you make up the test?” she asks as I sit.

I groan. “I hope so. I’m already barely hanging onto a B in that class as it is.”

She gives me a sympathetic look. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re under a lot of stress right now.”

“I know,” I sigh. “But grades don’t fluctuate or grade on a curve depending on your stress level. I’ve honestly been thinking about skipping next semester or just being done. I have no idea how I’ll afford it, and I don’t think my mom will be able to swing any childcare for the summer, so why bother? Unless I can find a few cheaper online courses.”

Harlow studies me for a minute. “Do you want to finish your degree?”

I do. Or I did. Somewhere along the way, everything has become blurred. Things I used to care about, like my outfits or my hair, don’t really hold any importance to me. The future I used to want for myself, the house, the lifestyle, the job; those have all changed.

For the longest time, I didn’t really care if I went to college. I was fine with whatever my future held for me, as long as Kai was by my side. Then things fell apart, so I forged a new path forward, still not having any idea what I actually wanted for my future.

I started with the basics, getting classes I needed out of the way. Then, I wanted an escape, so I applied for a photography internship in London and had the best time, but it wasn’t something I could picture myself doing as a career. Maybe something on the side, but not as a full-time gig.

Now that Kai is back in the picture, I can’t help but be pulled back into the future I used to see for us. He never shied away from telling me about the life he wanted. He never sugarcoated any of the struggles that might come along with it, either.

“I don’t know anymore,” I tell her honestly. “I really don’t.”

“And that’s okay. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. Do you have anything else you need to do today?”

“I have to figure out picking up Lily, but other than that, no.”

“I can go get her when it’s time,” she offers. “I don’t mind.”

It’s times like these that I’m extra grateful for the relationships I have. I reach toward her, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tight.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“Always.”

31

WREN