Page 16 of After Care

“Care,” Gage growled, returning to our cove of seats with a drink for his wife and one for himself.

“Where are you going?” Ivy asked, and I looked up at her husband before answering.

“I have a headache,” I said, a bit too harshly.

“Mom?” Masie questioned, sitting forward on her seat, pressing Emaline upward. The four-year-old blonde sat between Masie’s raised knees. “Are you okay? You haven’t gotten one in a while, right?”

“I’m fine,” I snapped, trying to control my voice.

“Do you need something?” Ivy asked, concern growing in her voice as well. “I can run to our room and get you something.”

“Babe,” Gage growled low, and I looked at him again. The pressure of Tommy’s eyes weighed on me, his direction insinuating he watched Gage and me, but I refused to glance up at him.

“I’ll come with you,” Masie said, scooting Emaline forward. My heart raced with all the attention, and I just wanted to get away from all of them.

“No,” I snapped, and the world stilled. Emaline peered up at me. Masie stopped moving. Ivy stared. Gage looked away, and Tommy’s eyes weighed heavier despite the reflective lenses.

“Leave her be,” Caleb said to no one, but implying Masie. Always my protector, guilt riddled inside me.

“Look, old lady,” I laughed, waving up and down my body like a fashion model. “Hot flash or something.”

“You’re too young for that,” Tommy growled from his end of the chairs and I wanted to say, who asked you to speak. Go back to talking with your little girlfriends, I thought but my mouth remained clamped shut in response to him.

“Maybe it’s just the heat,” I said to Masie, avoiding eye contact with Ivy. “Or I didn’t get enough sleep last night. I’m okay. I just need a nap. That’s what vacations are for.” I was rambling. “I’m just going to lie down for a while. I’ll be fine.” I lowered my tone as I spoke, trying to lessen the attention on me and assure my daughter at the same time. “Dinner for three at six, okay?” I reminded her with a smile.

“Oh, Ivy asked us to join her and the guys for dinner at—”

“No,” I bit. “No, thank you, honey,” I said, redirecting my gaze to Ivy, but quickly looking away. “Family dinner for three tonight,” I repeated to Masie and then looked over at Caleb. He shrugged and sipped a drink.

“I’ll see you later, baby,” I said to him before glancing back at Masie, and she nodded to agree.

+ + +

The condo door slammed and I was pissed at myself for running away again. Rather, being chased away. I had done nothing wrong. I had not led Ivy on in any way, whatever that would even look like. And who was Gage to speak to me as he had? I didn’t care if he was the greatest rock star that ever lived; I hadn’t done a thing to his wife. In fact, I was suddenly feeling like his wife was the one sucking my family in, lulling us to act in ways I would normally never condone, and taking up the time I wanted to spend with my own children.

I sighed, swiping at my hair, realizing I lost another scarf. It must have slipped into my dress when I struggled to tug on my cover-up while I spoke to Masie.

“Why am I here?” I said to the empty condo living room. It was a beautiful day. It was Hawaii. And I did not have a headache. I didn’t want to pretend, and I didn’t want to hide, but I wasn’t one to make a scene, so there was no way I would return to the pool. Remembering there was a long hallway leading to stairs on the side of the building, I decided I could exit the area and head unseen to the beach.

The resort was originally a hotel, housing hundreds of rooms. Over time, an additional two buildings were added, providing condos for rent. Ivy already told me they had the penthouse suite on the top floor of the original hotel, and I knew the rest of the band was a floor below. I couldn’t understand why Tommy would be on the fourth floor, other than a need for some separation, which was exactly how I felt.

I crossed the blacktop walk and cut through the scraggly bushes to get to the beach. A large set of boulders stood in my path and I climbed over them because the tide brought the ocean too close for a path. On the other side, I found a clear strip of white and walked a bit before spreading out a double-wide beach blanket. Flopping onto the mini-haven, I fell back, deciding I didn’t have the concentration to read. I drifted into a hazy, afternoon nap, heated by sunshine but cooled by a swift ocean breeze. Time peacefully passed.

“Where the fuck have you been?” The harsh words startled me, and my eyes opened to be blinded by the brightness of the sun. I had no idea how much time had passed, but by the position of the sun, I guessed it was late afternoon, nearing evening. I sat up instantly at the strong reprimand and twisted to look up at the person casting a shadow over me.

Squatting to rest on his toes, his knees cracked. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you, darlin’.” He sighed, swiping a hand over his silver and black hair, which curled at the nape of his neck in the heat. His eyes were still hidden by the aviator glasses and he wore only crazy tropical board shorts. He looked like an older surfer and the athletic build of his body proved he might be able to handle the sport.

“Excuse me,” I bit, my voice groggy from sleep but also offended at the tone of his. He looked out at the ocean as I wrapped my arms around my raised knees.

“Masie is going crazy, so is Ivy.”

I snorted, looking out at the sea myself. Reckless waves rolled and crashed into each other. I hadn’t braved the ocean yet. Deep water frightened me.

“What time is it?” I asked, ignoring his comments about Masie and Ivy. I twisted to reach for my bag and pulled out my phone. It was almost 4:30 p.m.. Shit. I had been gone a while. I sent Masie a quick text telling her I was at the beach, and I was fine.

“Where’d you go, darlin’?” Tommy asked, helping himself to a seat in the sand. His position copied mine briefly before his legs stretched forward and his arms fell back to brace himself upright.

“I came to the beach,” stating the obvious. He waited but I didn’t offer more.