Page 51 of After Care

“I’m sorry, Petty. You know I love you although you piss me off.” The words were stated harshly but contrite.

“Jared,” Gage commanded.

“No,” Jared said. “He’s been a fuck-off all day, and I’m tired of it.” Jared grabbed the bottle of Jack and stalked across the patio, entering the living area. Gage stepped forward as if to follow his best friend but Tommy stopped him.

“Just leave him be. He’s right.”

“He didn’t mean he wanted you to quit,” Gage said.

“He did. But he also knows you need me too much for a while longer.” He wasn’t arrogant. He just seemed to be stating a fact. This band was rising to the top from what I’d been told, but they weren’t there yet. This was going to be their year, Tommy had explained to me.

“We’d never get rid of you,” Gage said, his eyes lowering. Tommy slowly nodded, twisting his lips.

“You might.” At this, Ivy stood to speak, but Gage wrapped an arm around her waist. He muttered something in her ear, and her open mouth shut. She looked at her uncle with sad eyes, and I wondered what all I was missing. West still stood next to Gage, released from being held back. Silence swirled around us, so I spoke to West.

“I think my daughter might be waiting,” I whispered, although it was loud enough for them all to hear. He looked at me, blinked once, and ran for the door. Despite the tension, I had to giggle. Gage shook his head behind Ivy, and she smiled back at me.

“And you.” Tommy pointed at Petty. “Apologize to Edie for getting her daughter drunk. Then you owe West and Masie an explanation.” He waved his hand as if dismissing Petty, who stood, muttered a weak I’m sorry, and left the patio as well. Gage tugged Ivy toward the living room, which left Tommy and me alone. We stood at a crossroads. He swiped through his hair and fell back into the chair.

“I’m sorry you had to see all that, darlin’.” I sighed with relief that he’d called me darlin’, and instantly, my heart screamed you’re forgiven, but I still wanted the words.

“Are you okay?” I asked, lowering myself to the couch seat at his left.

“It’s been a shit day,” he said, throwing back his head, and staring up at the sky again.

“Why?”

His head sprang forward. “First, my girl wasn’t in my bed. Then she doesn’t have time to talk to me. Next, I’ve got to spend the day with these ungrateful fuckers, trying to figure out a plan for when we return. Which reminds me we’re leaving soon and brings me back to you not being in my bed.”

I stared in disbelief. What?

“You freaked out about…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. “You know.” I wiggled a hand before me.

“Not gonna lie, I did. But then I fell asleep, and you snuck away.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did.” I held up my phone to show there were no messages. He pressed the button labelled recent and showed me the eight attempts to call me.

“Why didn’t you leave a message?”

“And say what?” he snapped, anger still coursing through him.

“I don’t know, like, hey, I freaked out and I’m sorry. Or don’t worry, I’m sure it can’t happen.”

Tommy slowly sat forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, clasping his hands.

“Why can’t it happen?” His voice was low as he asked.

“Because I had cancer.” His head shot up as he blinked at me. “And because I’m too old.” My voice rose.

“Edie, beautiful, you are not old, and even with cancer, stranger things have happened. Even if you were pregnant, do you think that’s why I freaked out?”

“Of course,” I shrilled, letting my hand slap my thigh.

He sat up and scratched at the scruff under his chin. “Darlin’, you getting pregnant might make me the happiest man in the world, but here’s the thing that freaked me out: if it happened, I’d still be me. I’d still have to travel and follow these asses all over the world, and I’m sensing you’ve already been that route, of being alone as a parent. I couldn’t do that to you, but I can’t quit them.”

“You thought all that in sixty seconds?” Silence fell between us. The ocean waves rustled in the background. I lowered my eyes and picked at the hem of my sundress. There was a compliment in those words, but there was also something unsaid. If something happened to me, he’d want to be involved, and that meant a lot to me. The thought was sweet. I nodded and gave a soft snort before responding again to him.