Page 71 of After Care

“I love you, too,” I said, my voice shaking from the cold, but more so from the words. “I think I loved you from the first touch, but I definitely loved you before I ever left Hawaii.” His mouth returned to mine, searching, seeking, savoring. It was in his kiss. All the longing, the miles and hours between us, and I didn’t want to separate again, but we had to. A car honked, and he pulled back from me.

“That’s my Uber. I need to get back to the airport.” He lowered his head to mine. “Are we good, darlin’?” In many ways, I thought we had so much more to discuss, but this was enough. For the moment, it was enough.

“We’re good.”

“I love you,” he said again, giving the collar of his jacket a little shake. “Trust, beautiful.”

I nodded, moving to remove the heavy coat. “Keep it. I don’t need it in California. It will be my excuse to come back.”

My brows furrowed, and his finger pressed the crease. “What’s that look?”

“I want to be the excuse for you coming back,” I said boldly.

“You’ll never be an excuse, darlin’. Always my reason.” His lips curled with the comment, and we gazed at one another a moment.

“I’m never going to be able to surprise you. I can’t just fly off to California.” I looked down at my boot-covered toes. “I couldn’t afford it. How is this going to work?”

“Darlin’, you surprise me by saying you love me. That’s all the surprise I need. You love me, and you want to see me, that’s all you have to say, and I’ll send you a ticket.”

“I love you,” I said, my lips curling, my face splitting between my sudden happiness and the cold sorrow of his departure.

“I love you, darlin’.” He kissed me once more and slipped into the car. Driving away, he might have left me his jacket, but he took a piece of my heart with him.

+ + +

“I don’t know how you do it,” I said to Ivy over the phone. My heart shattered inside me, clogging up my insides with the sharp pain of missing Tommy. It was unbearable. I couldn’t see how our relationship could continue with only phone calls and no schedule to see one another.

“You get used to it. Separation becomes a norm of your life.”

I didn’t like that answer. I’d already been with a man who travelled often, missed much, and was hardly present when he was home. A long-distance relationship was the last thing I thought I’d have at my age, but I couldn’t see any way around our situation. He lived in California. I lived in Illinois.

“I just miss him so much.” I couldn’t believe I’d admitted this to his niece, but I had to tell someone. It seemed inappropriate to tell my children how I longed for a man who wasn’t their father, even if they were old enough to accept our divorce.

“I know.” Ivy’s voice lowered, and I realized she’d lived her whole life with separation—from her mother, her lover, her husband. Shaking off the sad direction of our phone call, I asked her about other things.

“How did Gage take the pregnancy?”

“He was disappointed that I couldn’t travel with him, but he’s always excited about babies.” The idea seemed contradictory to his hard ass personae.

“Did you speak with him about the musical therapy work?”

“I did. He wasn’t overly receptive, but…” She paused as sarcasm filled the line. “I found the perfect place. Edie, I don’t have all the details, but it’s a not-for-profit school, and it needs some funding. It isn’t in the best location, and it seems to be desperate. It needs a director after the last one misappropriated their funds. I’m looking into a…secret…with them.”

I lowered my voice in conspiracy with her. “What’s the secret?” I whispered.

“I’d like to buy the place.” I sat straighter, eyes widening even though she couldn’t see me.

“Can you do that?”

“I’m researching it. Their board wants to just disband, but I see its potential. It’s kind of exciting.” The enthusiasm in her voice was infectious. Her desperation to be involved and take over the school, whatever that might mean, was nearly palpable.

“It sounds interesting. Can I help you somehow?” I had no idea what I could do from Chicago, but I’d aid her in any way I could.

“I don’t know,” she chuckled, her laughter filled with fear and passion. “But I’ll definitely keep you in the loop.”

“Is anyone helping you now?” I hoped Tommy was supporting her if Gage wasn’t.

“I hired a lawyer. He’s working on the legality of things.” Her voice rose again with anticipation. She wanted this project.