Page 93 of After Care

“I do. It’s over the studio, and I crash there when I’ve been working long hours. Other times I crash at Ivy’s. Sometimes I go to Chicago.” He smiled weakly again.

“Why?” My brows pinched with the question.

“My place is lonely, darlin’.”

“Tommy,” I breathed, sadness filling me as my shoulders sank.

“I should have had you sign a NDA,” he teased, humor lacking in his tone.

“You already know I’ll sign whatever you’d like,” I assured him. “Only a sick person would exploit Lawson and Kit’s situation.”

“Oh, there are plenty of people out there who would love this story.” He paused, looking directly at me. “I didn’t believe in you, darlin’, and I’m sorry.” The apology made me sit up straighter. “Ivy wanted to tell you. She trusted you. Hell, she thought I already had. But this…this was a heavy burden, and I didn’t trust myself to share it with you. It’s not about me; it’s about Lawson and Kit. It’s about family.”

“Family,” I said softly, agreeing with his concern but heartbroken that he didn’t trust that I would protect his family as much as my own.

“I trust you, Edie. I have from the moment I realized you had no idea who I was. Just something about you screamed safe—and scary—to me.” He reached over and pressed a wayward curl around my ear.

“Scary,” I snort-laughed.

“I didn’t trust myself, darlin’. I wanted to give you everything, but that meant giving you all of this, too. And I feared for them, even when deep-down I knew the secret was safe with you. Maybe that safety scared me, too. I worried I’d get too close, draw you too near, and then when you left, you’d break me.”

“Where would I go?” I laughed, humbled and humored that he thought I’d be the one to leave him. “I don’t really want to be without you,” I admitted, my voice lowering along with my eyes. “But you said some really hurtful things, Tommy.”

His head hung. “I did, darlin’, and I’m sorry. Truly sorry. I’d understand if you kicked me to the curb, but I’m hoping you don’t. I’m hoping you can give me time to prove I don’t want to be without you, either. I overreacted, beautiful. I panicked.” His eyes drifted up to mine. “Family’s all I have and I thrive on being in charge of them, being in the know. I’m used to putting out fires from the boys, but not trouble from Ivy. It just…” His voice faltered. “It just threw me off, but I understand now. And by the time I thought about what I’d done, the tour started, the boys needed me, and once again I put them before myself, before what I wanted.”

A hand came to my knee. “I want you, darlin’. You and me. And I think it took you walking away for me to realize you’re the piece of me that’s been missing. The loneliness I cover, that feeling I deal with, it’s because I didn’t know what I’d been missing was someone like you.” His hand moved from my knee to cup my face.

I bit my lip, loving the words but fear trickled through me.

“What is it, darlin’? What’s happening in that pretty head of yours?”

“I want to believe you’re sorry. I want to understand where you were coming from, but you ripped my heart out, Tommy. You jumped to conclusions and didn’t let me explain.”.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m saying I’m sorry, but I know apologies take time not words. Family always says they’re sorry, though.” A weak smile curled his plump lips. “And I wanted you to hear how sorry I am.”

While the logical side of me told me to kick him to the curb, like he suggested, my heart screamed for me to take the risk. A risk like that insane woman who let a stranger finger fuck her in an empty ballroom.

“I forgive you.” His smile grew and a moment passed with only our eyes connecting us.

“Is it crazy that I want you to move to California after only knowing you a few months?” he chuckled, setting his empty glass on the low coffee table, and turning back to face me.

“Not as crazy as the fact that I would have said yes if you asked me.” The words hung between us.

“Darlin’?” he questioned, his brows furrowing, his expression a cross between serious and curious.

“What changed your mind? Why are you telling me all this now?” I asked, changing the direction of the conversation. My hand waved to indicate the room and Lawson.

Tommy reached for my hand, drawing it over to his lap. Thick fingers curled around mine before flipping my palm to face him. He stroked over the tender pad with the tips of his thick digits, and a ripple shimmered up my arm.

“I planned to see you in Chicago. I thought you’d come to the concert, and I’d get your attention afterward. In fact, Ivy knew my plan to tell you everything and grovel at your feet if I needed to.” Dark eyes sparkled, before returning to my hand. “I’ve missed you, darlin’.” His words warmed my insides and my belly fluttered. “I think the thing that clarified everything for me was seeing you in that hospital waiting room. I accused you of telling me how to love my family without recognizing you already loved them.”

“Family loves unconditionally,” I said, a tear trickling down my cheek. My free hand swiped under my eye and the movement broke Tommy’s concentration on my palm. His head shot up

“I’d never hurt Ivy or take advantage of her or you…” My assurances were cut off when his mouth took mine, nearly knocking me backward in his aggressive approach. His lips captured mine, drawing them into his before his tongue invaded my mouth, reaching for mine. He’d released my hand, so I reached for the salt-and-pepper scruff at his jaw, nails scraping over his stubble without thought.

“Like that, don’t you, darlin’?” He chuckled against my lips.

“I do like that,” I mouthed against him.