Page 45 of Midlife Crisis

“Exactly.”

“I’m proud of the band. I want her to like me because of it.”

“Exactly again. I’m proud of who I am now, and I want your mom to know the me I am, not who I used to be. My past is over, Ronin. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, but I still want you to tell her.” He fidgets with the hem of his old-school, classic rock t-shirt.

“I will, but I need a little more time.”

Ronin seems to understand and nods, slipping his hands in his pockets. “I gotta go say goodbye to some other guys. The party’s breaking up because we have another show tomorrow.”

I nod, and Ronin leaves the room. I’m pushing off the sink when a younger version of Midge enters the kitchen. With the same brown hair and same speckled eyes, Liam is the male image of her. He’s small for his ten years, but he’ll grow. He’s running to the fridge when he collides into me.

“Whoa, pal, where you headed?”

“Soda.” He’s breathing heavy, eyes wild, looking like he’s already had a few too many.

“It’s kind of late for that.” I have no idea, but I know if I have caffeine too late, I get the jitters and can’t sleep.

“Mom said I can.”

“Really?” My tone must hold some warning because he stops tugging at the fridge handle.

“No.” He sighs, shoulders falling. “You’re Hank, right? Her date or something.”

Oh Lord, here we go again. “Yes.” I think it’s okay to say that.

“Know how to play video games?”

“Umm, no self-respecting man doesn’t.”

He looks at me like he has no idea what I said. “Want to come play Minecraft?” I wave a hand, gesturing for him to lead the way.

As I sit in a small den off the kitchen, I get whipped by a ten-year-old, but he cracks me up. Question after question escapes him between video game strategies. How tall am I? Have I ever been in a play? Do I like monster cookies? I can’t keep up with his energy.

Thoughts of having children come to mind. What would it have been like? Would I have played video games with a son? Would he have asked me a million and one questions? Would he have loved me unconditionally? I know I’d allow any child of mine to be whatever he wanted to be, unlike my pop.

“What do those bracelets mean?” I look down at my wrist, twisting them back and forth. I don’t know what made me break them out of my drawer. It’s been a long time since I’ve worn them, but for the past two nights, it felt right to wear them.

“The leather one has three straps woven together. It’s for me and two old friends. A reminder we were a…” I almost say band but decide on something he’d understand. “…a team.”

“I’m on a team.” His voice rises with excitement.

“I know.” I pause, twisting the second band. “This one has beads. A reminder of how a team takes more than one player and lots of support.”

“Like fans for a game?”

“Something like that.” It’s more than fans, though. A band is like a family—supporting one another, holding each other up—until one member brings them all down. I don’t go into that explanation.

“That’s so cool,” he says, and then his attention bounces to other topics. Baseball. Summer camps. Failing science class.

After what seems like an hour, Elston stands in the entrance followed by his mom.

“Mr. Paige, I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. It was disrespectful.” The language seems formal but his intention sincere.

I shrug. “Call me Hank and the apology is accepted.”

“Deal.” He nods, a boy on the verge of being a man suddenly.